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Opinions of Thursday, 14 July 2011

Columnist: Mensema, Akadu N.

In the Name of NDC: Ahwoi Should Piss & Drink it All!

*By Akadu Ntiriwa Mensema, Ph. D.

“NDC CASHPRO-thievery-guru, Kwamena Ahwoi, says the mere mention of the NPP
makes him feel like urinating. He said at the Sunyani NDC Congress last Saturday
that he felt like visiting the gents to urinate whenever he heard the NPP being
mentioned. Mr. Ahwoi was comfortably sitting [when] the MC, Elvis Afriyie
Ankrah, announced that the NPP’s representatives should come and deliver their
solidarity message. Mr. Ahwoi, at this juncture, stood from his seat and headed
towards the washroom, which was at the right hand side of the VIP stand. Upon
reaching where other NDC big wigs… were seated [Mr. Ahwoi] stopped… then
mockingly said, ‘The mention of the name of the NPP has made me feel like
urinating,’ to which Baba Jamal and Haruna Iddrisu as well as other people
present burst into laughter. Mr. Ahwoi headed straight to the washroom and
returned only after Sammy Awuku had finished the NPPs solidarity speech, which
lasted for some few minutes” (Abridged from Ghanaweb, July 11, 2011).

Yesterday’s poor Ahwois
Wore battered Charley-wote
Wore bludgeoned tie & dye
Soiled with poverty blood
Their trousers were threadbare
Slaughtered from Tema Station
Ah! The “bend-down” boutique
They did a Jerry before 1979
Ah! They debited kokonte
Kokonte - “Face the Wall”

Today the SOCIALISTS have it
The Ahwois have it all
They have tasted wealth
They have tasted power
Under JJ Rawlings
Under Simpa Mills
Ahwois wear “designers”
No more threadbare tie-dye
They have expensive SUVs
No battered Charley-wote
They have it all made
Even have URINE made

The Ahwois have urinated
Have already urinated on JJ
The piss of Greedy Bastards
JJ made the Ahwois rich
JJ made Ahwois powerful
JJ plucked them all
From acidic poverty
Poverty of SOCIALISM
So let Kwamena Ahwoi piss
His bloating bladder is full
Full of stolen state wealth
CASHPRO-induced urination
All have short memories
Let the Ahwois urinate it all
Time has a way of pissing us

Ghana’s political DDTs
Poisons of our postcolony
Killers of the dream
Crusading for personal wealth
Thievery opponents they are
They are not antipodal enemies

Uncouth Kwamena Ahwoi
Now a predatory BILLIONAIRE
Urinates on himself in public
Holding his small shrinking tail
Tail between his shriveling legs
Urinates from his withering mind

Uncouth Kwamena Ahwoi
Like an asinine sheep
Strutting in a public place
Dunce-ing in malice
Ahwoi did it all in public
Like the proverbial sheep
It farted, pissed, soiled
It dropped it all
Droppings on its tail
Besmeared in excreta
Like the proverbial sheep
Ahwoi disgraced himself
Not the NPP

The bellyful Ahwois
Kwamena Ahwoi
Kwasi Ahwoi
Ato Ahwoi
May urinate it all
Stolen wealth
Bellyful riches
CASHPRO it all
The Ahwois may piss it all
At the mention of NDC
Not at the mention of NPP
NDC made them bellyful
NDC is their vessel of riches
NPP didn’t cause their bellyful

Keep pissing
Keep urinating
Kwamena Ahwoi
You can afford to piss
Piss on anyone, anyone
Time is the arbiter, the arbiter
Time will tell and time will tell
When, how, where, whom, who, what
You will piss on your shrinking small tail
Shrinking small tail between your scrawny legs

*Akadu N. Mensema, Ph. D., is a nationalist Denkyira beauty. She is a trained
oral historian cum sociologist and Professor in the USA. She lives in
Pennsylvania with her great mentor and teaches Africa-area studies at a college
in Maryland. In her pastime, she writes what critics have called “populist
hyperbolic, satirical” poetry. She can be reached at