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Opinions of Thursday, 28 July 2016

Columnist: Counselor Frank Adofoli

Fake looks real from distance

Amazing marriages are not easy, inspiring stories have lots of heart breaks and sadness. Beautiful relationships have tears and smiles. It takes a combination of the two to make it beautiful.

If your marriage is easy, it won't be amazing; if it’s worth it, then you don't need to give up on it. If you can’t work on it, you are not worth it. "Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit" - 1 Corinthians 13:8 (MSG).

We don't give up on our spouses because, we love them; we don't leave our spouse, because we have promised them our love and even if there are countless reasons to leave, one reason to stay is because of our love for them.

You can have the amazing marriage you want, if you will learn to develop the negatives into positives, and use the negatives to develop your marriage.

How do you do that? Listen to your partner's feelingS, there are things you did to hurt them which are the negatives. Once you notice your actions or words which hurt them, you don't repeat such behaviour again. You have end up saving your marriage a huge percentage of failure.

Don't take your partners hurt for granted, don't ignore how they feel, trust their tears more than their smiles for they can easily fake smiles but they can't cry without their true feelings.

The idea of going out to seek happiness outside should never be an option for you. Another man or another woman is not the magic to your relationship. They might be telling you the right words, giving you the right treatment but wait till you get married to them.

You will come to understand that sometimes, the reason why the grass is greener outside there is because it’s fake. Do you know second marriages fail easily then first marriages?

Fake stuff looks real outside until you get closer. People look real, perfect and nice because you are not close to them, but once you do, you get to know their true colours. You get to know that not all that glitters is gold.

Some spouses are quick to leave because their partner hurt them or got angry at them; however one thing you must know, anger is one of the easiest and childish way of expressing deep love. Your spouse won’t get angry if he or she didn’t love you that much. And because they love you that much, they are able to express the childishness within them before you. Understand this and don’t abandon them.

In conclusion "There is one who makes himself rich, yet has nothing; there is one who makes himself poor, yet has great riches" - Proverbs 13:7 (MEV).