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Opinions of Saturday, 28 August 2010

Columnist: Bonsu, Akua

Let Me Tell You a Story

*Akua Bonsu akuabonsu1@gmail.com *



Once upon a time there was an illiterate dictator. Because he had a gun
amidst intellectuals who did not have any, he was able to lord it over them
for almost two decades. In the process, he put down his army uniform and
became the president of Ghana. He ruled the country with a bunch of ‘yes
men’ and ‘yes women’ again because he had a gun and was prepared to use it.
If one had a different opinion from this illiterate dictator, one kept it to
one’s self. In fact, when this dictator was unhappy with some judges who
invariably fell in the intellectual category, those judges were abducted and
murdered.



Almost three decades later, it is modern day Ghana and slowly but surely,
the intellectual population has grown. This ballooning section of the
population has gradually chipped away at the impact of guns and their use to
settle political scores. The world has grown smaller so the international
community pays closer attention to the goings-on in Ghana and other
developing countries. So now in Ghana, one has to use the courts, the
judicial system if one wants to settle political scores. And those ladies
and gentlemen of the judiciary, they don’t play with the responsibilities
bestowed upon them by the constitution. Those looking to settle political
scores must come prepared.



But alas, that is where the problem begins with the descendants of this
illiterate dictator. They call something a political party. They heard the
news somewhere so they formed one of their own. What they failed to realize
is that once you go down that road, you have to behave properly. When you
disagree with someone, you have to sit down and discuss a solution. But
don’t blame them; they cannot shake their heritage. As the other political
party abides by this simple regulation of amicably ironing out their
differences, these descendants of the illiterate dictator use knives,
cutlasses, and guns to still settle their differences even if they occur
amongst themselves.



Anyway, recently they accidentally found themselves in charge of the affairs
in Ghana. Almost two years later, they still have not figured out how to run
the nation. So in order to look good in the eyes of the people of Ghana,
they have decided to make members of the other party look bad – just like
them. But they can only do so if they can successfully use the judiciary to
throw some members of the other party in jail – just like those other people
were able to do. But then they have run into those learned men and women in
robes who take their responsibilities very seriously.



One after the other, their ill-prepared cases were thrown out of the
courtrooms. If you have always used weapons and intimidations to settle your
political scores, the courtroom can be a very strange place to be. The all
of a sudden one of them – their chairman went and had himself a good drink
of a concoction called “akpeteshie.” One shot of that stuff can make
intelligent men sound very silly. If a not so intelligent man drinks that
stuff, keep him away from a microphone. Oh but they did not. And when he
opened his mouth, like the white man would say, “all hell broke loose,”
meaning the whole nation went crazy.



The lawyers, the teachers, the other people, the students, the seamstresses,
even the palm wine tappers all told him to keep quiet and apologize to those
men and women who take their responsibilities very seriously. But these
descendants of the illiterate dictator, you must give it to them; even when
they are wrong, they have to move forward in the hopes that they would
eventually become right. Even when their leader, who is also the leader of
our nation saw that this palaver is too much so he had to distance himself
from it, the rest of them still continued to try and prove that they are
right.



Oh did I mention that they are also very good at lying? My apologies. They
lie so much that when they tell you to look up, look down or else, a big
insect will enter your eyes. In fact, their very name is a lie. Their name
suggests that all their members have a say in what goes on in that party
whereas their master – the illiterate dictator is the one who always have
the final word. Anyway, when they knew that one of the political scores they
are trying to settle in a courtroom was not going well, they lied about the
judge that they have recorded his voice as he said something inappropriate.
When they were called to task to bring the recording, they started making
all kinds of excuses, and have not been able to bring the recording.



Oh but those descendants of the illiterate dictator, they don’t give up. You
see, when they lied about that judge, he stepped aside away from that case.
So they think they have discovered an antidote to their troubles in the
courtroom. Now they want to spread lies about one very powerful woman. She
is the one who decides which of those learned men and women gets to be the
judge of cases they bring to the courtroom to settle political scores. If
spreading lies worked on one learned man, it can certainly work on another
learned woman. May be she would step aside also so that the way would be
paved for them to replace her with one of their men to do their dirty work
for them.



But this woman, the leader of all the men and women who take their
responsibility very seriously, she is very strong. She is strong in
personality and in character. In other places where they respect these men
and women who take their responsibilities very seriously, they make them so
powerful that no one, not even their president can remove them. They leave
when they want to leave. So they make their decision without being afraid
that they would be removed from office if they make some powerful person
angry.



Not Ghana. In Ghana, those men and women who take their responsibilities
very seriously can be removed. In fact the big book of our country
says “Justice
of the Superior Court or a Chairman of the Regional Tribunal shall not be
removed from office except for stated misbehavior or incompetence or on
ground of inability to perform the functions of his office arising from
infirmity of body or mind.” (Article XI Chapter 146 Clause 1). Ahaaa, that
is why their drunken leader said if the learned men and women do not clean
themselves, they would clean do the cleaning for them. So these people can
really remove any of the learned men and women that they do not like.



Oh but they lie bad. That iron lady leader of the learned men and women will
no quit. She would not be cajoled into stepping aside; they would have to
drag her kicking and scratching so that the whole world would know that when
they could not score a goal, they moved the goal post closer. That is the
only way those descendants of the illiterate dictator can succeed in the
strange place called the courtroom. Hopefully by that time, Ghanaians would
have had the chance to correct their mistake. What mistake? Oh, the one they
made in December of 2008 when they voted out the people they said were
arrogant and brought in the people who would kill them. And now that they
have seen the people who would kill them actually killing them, I am sure
they would not mind dealing with the other people who they thought were
arrogant.



Bye Bye!