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Opinions of Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Columnist: Brako-Powers, Kwabena

Double Gamer – the Craze for Multiple Sexual Partners in Ghana

Kwabena Brako-Powers

“If you have a husband forget it. I don’t want double game,” said a man in his 4X4 car which was parked closed to the Mamprobi Post Office. I took some few steps, shoved my phone to my ear and pretended a call. I listened and volunteered occasional quarrel with my partner on the line to give it some credibility. He repeatedly banged his hand on the wheel. “You know I love you?” he asked.
I didn’t hear what the lady said but it was infuriating enough to move the older man to unconsciously press the car horn. “What is it? What is it?” asked a lady startled by the car horn who was an inch away from the big gutter by the Post Office. “Sorry madam”, the man said. I watched as the lady chuckled and whisked her slim silhouette away from sight. I never saw her again. Or perhaps she entered the house near the gutter.

“You said you didn’t have a husband so how come?” he asked. “We have done many things together only to hear that you have a husband”, he continued. He chuckled and dropped the line. I concentrated to take some few more steps not to raise an alarm. The man revved his car, monitored his side mirror and drove past me while still on the phone. I heard him mouthed something, but I couldn’t figure what he said. Perhaps he’s disappointed in his partner. Or he’s disappointed of himself. However, I read from his driving that he’s an unhappy man now.

This brings to mind a conversation I had with a colleague who read his undergraduate program in a journalism school in Ghana. He confessed of having slept with almost all the ladies in his undergraduate class. He said the ladies are always ready to be asked out. The least whisper one makes, he gets to attract more than one lady for his consumption. And it isn’t as though they are in for big money. Little. Their needs are small, but that demands great sacrifice from them. He said some of these girls have boyfriends with plans to tie the knot in the future. What is wrong?
What is the craze in town for? Is it sex? Or money? Or adventure? Or experience? Or a unique combination of all? Many sacrifices have been committed in the name of sex. And many persons have committed suicide because they could not contain the infidel lifestyles of their partners.

The craze in town is for a lady or a gentleman to have more than one partner for several reasons. When this happens, sex becomes accessory. A lady friend confessed to having more than one partner. And she said, “Powers I have more than one guy but there’s one of them I love so much to the point of death.” This begged asking that: If you’re ready to die for this one guy why not give your all to him then? The conventional answer would be that: my partner is not trustworthy. Or that my partner could not attend to my needs. Or better do not put all your eggs in one basket. Or someone would say at least this is better than having gay and lesbians in town. However, this is not the issue of which is the lesser evil. We are throwing our morality to the gutters.
If trust is the issue, let’s build it with whoever we are with. If the moral codes of our society are falling apart we need to fix them. At least we cannot create an infidel society for the future generation. I know there are irresponsible men and women out there, however, I also know there are genuine and responsible men and women out there. Remember change is infectious. Spark it.