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Opinions of Thursday, 21 May 2020

Columnist: Nicholas Asubonteng

Don't use force to persuade people


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Do you remember the last time you tried to convince someone into believing a certain fact yet he or she didn't? Did it turn into an argument? Was the person annoyed with you in the long run? Or was it a business meeting that he didn't show up to, based on the way you approached him or her?

Well, you're not the only one who has once faced such a challenge. A lot of people are struggling to understand the human way of doing things. This is what my article is about. It will help you tackle this problem at hand. Make sure you don't skip any part, read to the end to get the clearer picture.

One thing you have to note is that you must first know that the way you're thinking is different from others. You must, therefore, try to always appreciate the efforts of a fellow. The biggest mistake we often do in life is, we try to convince people by first criticising their way of doing things. We often ignore the feeling of importance every individual has.

I remember on one morning when I was streaming videos on YouTube and I came across that of an Evangelist, the way he condemned some people's way of doing things through his sermon because he didn't share a common belief or interest with them made me put myself in their shoes and start thinking twice about his sermon. With this kind of attitude, it will be hard for him to win a soul and help propagate the gospel.

As a man with knowledge in Behavioural Sciences and Psychology, If you want people to embrace your information and change from their old ways of living or preconceived ideas on a particular subject matter, you must start by first acting as if you greatly admire what they are doing.

From there, let your piece be a mixture of truth( your desired thoughts) and lies( their previous thoughts).

Just like transport in living organisms, movement of substances in and out of the cell does not take place all at once.

For instance, diffusion of substances takes place at one corner and quickly or slowly diffuses until there is even dispersion of the said substance.

Trying to condemn the actions of some people immediately you confront them will lead to rebellion.

This can even be related to the 15th century days when Christianity was finding its way in Ghana and it was observed that the Westerners started by preaching against the norms of the society – Ghanaian culture.

As a result, most of the early missionaries were killed.

Same applies to the school system. They used it to preach against the doings of the then elderly people which led to children accusing their parents for worshiping idols.

Later, very few people were attending castle schools.

It was only when they strategized and sent people to Africa to conduct several researches on why Africans are difficult to be convinced into the said religion.

The results of the research was that, to persuade Africans into believing you, you must first admit their culture and add it to the curriculum. This gave birth to the Ghanaian language and culture and the likes.

When Ghanaians realized their culture was being taught in schools they were glad and started pushing their kids into it.

So in the 18th Century, Christianity gained its roots.

Inasmuch as Christianity is good for our salvation and that we need the Supreme God in our daily lives, using the wrong means did not yield results.

Egoism is the basis of morality and it has a brother known as Pride.

Due to these two, hardly will one accept you if you fail to work on their mindset first.

The law of Virginity may be of help to clarify my point.

The law of virginity states that to receive the seed of truth that will impregnate you, you must be broken.

In this context, it's not the hymen that will be broken but your previous beliefs or preconceived ideas which doesn't match with the new information.

Having sex with a virgin cannot be done the same way as the one who's hymen has already been broken through sex because of the discomfort.

Besides, not all virgins feel pain with their first encounter with men. Some of them have already broken their hymen through sporting activities. So, what will work for one person might not work for another. The person whose hymen got broken by sporting activities and the other whose own got broken through sex will not experience the same pain. Contextually, I will add those who haven't had theirs broken yet.

1. The person whose hymen got broken by sporting activities is the one who has once heard the exact information you want to pass to him or her. For instance, there are a lot of preachers in the 21st century and many different media to preach the gospel. One may have read that fornication is a sin or the LORD of Israel is the Supreme GOD so we must all worship him for life after death–heaven. In this way, being the second or third person to let him or her hear of this same information or a similar one can easily convince him to be born again.

2. The person whose hymen got broken through sex and experienced pain is the one who has never heard of the word before. So, trying to change his mindset at once may not yield results because she will equally feel pain in her heart. The worst part of all this is when the conversation started in the form of argument.

3. Those whose hymen is yet to be broken is similar to the second point above.

This principle applies to network marketing too. Getting a downline is not a one day job. Those who register the same day you approach them are those who already have knowledge about how the business works but were still having doubts.

There's one general rule which applies to all persons. That's to first acknowledge them for taking their time to learn about that subject matter. Let them know that you're coming to add to what they've already learnt from a different perspective.

Start your explanation from known to unknown, or simple to complex. Thus, from what the person has already learned to what you want him to know.

Infuse the truth in the conversation gradually until your chat becomes 100% truth.

Apply the principles learnt and show me the results.

Have a nice day.

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