Can I ask you a question?

One day Fiifi’s class teacher punished him for hitting a girl called Ama.

Anthony, Fiifi’s classmate, entered the classroom much later from a break and saw Fiifi kneeling in front of the class and thinking he had been punished for coming late, joined him.

Much later, Chris also walked in, and seeing two prisoners, he joined them.

Then another. And another. Till the teacher returned to see six boys kneeling. Surprised, he asked and everybody answered that they thought Fiifi had been punished for lateness.

You see, sometimes we assume that we already know the answer. But we may not be right about that. We do things every day and make decisions all the time based on conventional ideological leanings. We join queues in hospitals and banks before asking where the queues are headed.

A question is a request for clarity. A giant opportunity to tap knowledge from a person’s treasury. The starting point of a question can be either a doubt, an uncertainty, or a suspicion or curiosity.

Now let me ask you; if you are Akan like me, have you bothered to know why our customary succession leans towards our mothers’ brothers? Have you asked yourself why almost globally, societies wear black for mourning? Or have you even asked the scientific question as to why of all the liquids on this planet, we drink and bathe and cook with mostly water?

What about why we cannot sleep with the light on, and why we are all inclined to sleep after sunset? Can you explain why you yawn? If in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, where was he living before he created heaven? Christmas is coming and I want to ask you, do you know who chose December 25 to be Jesus’ birthday?

The assumption by most people is that society has done all the thinking for them and they ought not question but conform. They feel very okay about taking society as they find it and also see those who ask critical questions as living in a different world.

Quite apart from the unwillingness to ask questions, the reality is that answers may sometimes be scary and hard to swallow. How do you feel about knowing your HIV or Hepatitis status? Hard as they might be to bear, the truth is, not wanting to find out can keep all of us hostages.

Think about it; after a terrible fire outbreak, robbery, or motor accident, the authorities start their investigations by asking questions.

Before the age of academics and science, our ancestors followed a pantheon of gods and were told not to do this thing or that. Fetish priests who declared the wishes of the spirits declared the use of implements containing any kind of metal as taboo allowing only earthenware and calabashes to be used to take water from the rivers.

In some parts of the country, priests declared that on certain days washing of clothes or even drawing of water were taboos because on those days the river gods came out in various shapes to bask in the sun. They were spirits and must not be seen by any human being. Along the coast, fishing on one particular day of the week, usually Tuesday, was and is still regarded as a taboo.

These rules were very rigidly adhered to and violations were punishable. Rudimentary though they were/are, they formed the basis of water regulations long before modernity.

No doubt, when European ships landed on African coasts in the fifteenth century, they brought questions to our shores. Education gave people new eyes to look at issues and a new voice to speak about the unspeakable.

Another personal question I want to ask is why we often antagonize people who push boundaries with questioning. Why do we call people controversial and dismiss what they have to say simply because they ask questions? Can we admit that not having answers and our fear of seeing others advancing knowledgeably and radiating that power makes us feel uncomfortable?

Well, Carl Jung once said, “If a man knows more than others, he becomes lonely.”

And I agree.

See, in the Holy Book, the Book of Acts tells us that Emperor Festus yelled at the apostle Paul, “You’re out of your mind, Paul!” The ruler blamed Christian missionary’s intellect on “Too much study”

Interesting, isn’t it?

In the year 399 BC, seventy-year-old Socrates was dragged before the Athenian court on charges of impiety and corrupting the youth. Why? Because he started asking questions.

Think about it.

When Aynaz Anni Cyrus was born in Iran, she was taught at the early age of nine to master her prayers in Arabic. She asked the imams, “If Allah is my creator, why can’t he understand me when I pray in my language unless I pray in Arabic?” She got slaps and punches but no answer.

Now, a few of my favorite characters in The Game of Thrones series are Robert Stark and his wife Catelyn. They were simple, honest, and truth-thirsty royals. But you know why Robert was beheaded publicly and his widow’s throat was slit? Because they started questioning the legitimacy of the House of Lannister.

My dear friends, it is lies and ignorance that are always on the defensive. They laugh at the abundance of knowledge. They dismiss new suggestions and new ways of doing things. A lie doesn't like change. It is extremely authoritative but it also sits on a timebomb. It springs from the kingdom of darkness. And darkness fears the light. Truth is light.

Truth survives persecution and is sovereign. Why did Aynaz receive slaps? Why would the Roman ruler accuse Paul of insanity and why would Socrates be sentenced to die? It is nothing but the fear of reasoning. A society that attacks questioning is simply afraid of reasoning.

But I also want to tell you, that all of us are naturally innocent liars and ignorant of something. We do not know what tomorrow may bring yet we keep lying to our loved ones we will never leave them.

Chinua Achebe once said that what a man doesn’t know is bigger than him and that is true.

My friends, that is why we need to ask even more questions. We have to be bigger than the unknown because it will always scare us. The unknown fears questioning because questioning excavate and uncover. Truth does even more.

One of my favorite characters in Chinua Achebe’s Arrow of God is Ezeulu’s son Oduche. This young man doesn’t play any particularly big role in the novel but there is one thing I learned from him because of all the many children in his father’s household, Oduche was the only child who went to the Christian mission school set up in Ummuneora village.

We all get to know from the story that the Igbos in Oduche’s village revered the snake. It was a symbol of godship. Oduche wondered why such a slow beat would yield much power over children and brave warriors alike, so he did something. One day, he saw a python and captured it into a box, and locked it. Friends, to cut a long story short, Oduche did not die. The village did not burn and the voice did not yell from the clouds.

Another boy I love is Nwoye. This boy is Okwonkwo’s son in Things Fall Apart. Nwoye nursed very pressing questions about some of the traditions of the Igbos. He found it hard to understand why twin babies were thrown into the evil forest. Why some people were called social outcasts and why the gods would decree his father gruesomely kill that adorable young boy called Ikemefuna?

Now let me also tell you this: asking questions may come at a cost you your relationship. A dishonest partner who is cheating on you may pull the trigger of a break-up the moment you suspect and ask for the truth. It may mean you fleeing your country of birth forever. Dishonest, liars, and cheaters are all afraid of reasoning and fear can make people act unwisely and become very dangerous.

Friends, they say the truth hurts. But I want to also tell you that it disinfects lies. Most importantly, it deactivates us from fake relationships. It clarifies and exonerates. Why do you think we are told: “The truth shall set you free?”

Today I want to encourage you to start asking the questions you fear most. If you suspect your lover, drop the big question and let the break-up you fear might happen happen. If your mathematics/ physics/ chemistry teacher is confusing you during a lesson, ask the question you need for clarity. If a pastor tells you he has a revelation about you from God, ask him whether God is not speaking terms with you.

And the next time a doctor scribbles an incomprehensible handwriting in your folder or prescription form as if he’s got two left hands, ask him about it. Coating Esther Perel, it takes two people to create a pattern but only one to change it.

In the end, remember that we are all lost in this world and to unlost ourselves, we need to start asking questions on the way.