Are women their own enemies?

As part of the International Women’s Day (IWD) celebration, my position as a literary advocate became imminent when, as a writer and author representing Ghanaian female authors at the Ebedi International Residence in Nigeria, this became one of the key topics for our programme outline for the IWD celebration.

First, this topic has turned into a cliché now but various expressions from the equal female authors representing other African states made it a crucial spot of notice to have a conversation on.

At a time when female creatives; thus writers, authors, painters, designers of all sorts, content creators, et al are leaving legacies with influence as a source of inspiration for the younger sorority, it was equally essential that we spoke on some of these growth hindrances.

Depending on where you stood, the question whether females supported each other was relative and this relativity is even debatable.

I believe from time immemorial, the quest to please the patriarchal system turned females against each other, consciously or unconsciously. This can be seen in polygamous marriages, where instead of supporting one another, wives end up doing the most, usually stepping on each other’s toes just to gain acceptance by the husband.

This is obvious in career or job places, families, educational institutions, the entertainment industry, et al.

The goal to please and be accepted by patriarchy, coupled with an old time system of positioning women as weaklings or the 'vulnerable', had instituted the mentality for women to feel insecure and therefore challenge their counterparts wanting to live otherwise.

There could be other reasons, such as the upbringing of a person, personal character, perceptions, and traditional and cultural systems, as every aspect of mankind’s way of life is definitely influenced by culture.

Perceptions play a very important role because there is the notion that, indeed, women do not support each other averagely, women are cautious of each other, protective and paranoid, which does not auger the female’s progress.

I have had the opportunity to find myself in places with so many women and could still adjust with no problems. I have had my boss’s entrusted responsibilities to women in my care, explaining that I moved well with women, which I find complimentary, especially with the perception that women are extra to handle. I am yet to know what quality allows for that, but I believe it’s about allowing them genuine acceptance, understanding, sincere compliments, being oneself and being empathetic, which are some of the basic ways to stop female rivalry. As we celebrate the IWD, women and/or the sorority should see women as humans, not women, and accommodate and support each other, as women everywhere basically share the same struggles.

Instead of being judgmental, why don’t we admire the stars illuminating your sister’s gift while appreciating the fact that you are also gifted despite the differences?

All women should see themselves as passengers on a flight in deadly turmoil. One could be an amputee, deaf, blind, or crippled, but the common problem here should appear as though we are all in the skies with a crisis of an impending crush. Why don’t we join our able parts to save ourselves rather than point out our various flaws when we all definitely have one?

Name: Rebecca Abafum Author/ Deputy Organising Secretary of Ghana Association of Writers(GAW) Email: rabafum@gmail.com