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Opinions of Friday, 14 August 2020

Columnist: Anthony Obeng Afrane

Applaud Bawumia for creating jobs for the youth

Irony is a literary device that expresses a contrast between expectation and reality by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.

Folks, I went to visit my friend, Atongo who has been sentenced to life imprisonment at the Nsawam Maximum Security Prisons for murder. Atongo, my frafra friend travelled to Kumasi from the north to eke out a living. He worked very hard as a farm labourer and started earning money waa, waa, waa. He was engaged by Auntie Yaa Maggie to weed her farm one day. Atongo did a very good job to the admiration of Auntie Yaa, and she exclaimed out of excitement: "Aaah! Atongo, you've done well! You've killed me today. "You've killed me" is an ironic expression in twi to show extreme appreciation.

Atongo with a mixed feeling of astonishment and anger responded: "Maame, why are you lying that I've killed you while on the contrary have done a good job?" "You seem to be a bad woman, you lied that I've killed you, I don't know what you'll tell people if I allow you to go home; I'll finish you today and be satisfied that I have truly killed you," he continued. Atongo carried out his threat.

He was hauled before a court for murder, and the following ensued:

Judge: Atongo, you're charged for murdering Auntie Yaa Maggie, are you guilty or not guilty?

Atongo: Massa Judge, I fit ask prosecutor question?

Judge: Go ahead.

Atongo: Massa Prosecutor, you say I kill madam, ibi my right hand I use "chicha" or left hand?

Prosecutor: Your right hand

Atongo: Huuu, na lie, mi di benkum ma chicha (I used my left hand to butcher): Massa Judge, I win the chase, since prosecutor no sabe the hand I use "chicha".

Judge: But there was "chicha".

Subsequently, he was sentenced and sent to prison; and that was my reason for going to Nsawam.

This is how misunderstanding of the use of language can land one into trouble, and I'm in big trouble now for choosing the above title for this article. I have started receiving threats from some youth. Folks, please give me a minute; let me pick this call.

Hello, Tony here, whom am I speaking with please?

I'm Ekow, calling from Komenda.

How may I help you, Ekow.

What is the meaning of that useless article of yours? What jobs have Nana and Bawumia created that we should applaud them for? Didn't they promise the youth 1 District I Factory?

Yes they did, sir.

So what happened to the Komenda Sugar factory which started production under the Mahama government?

Please I don't know oo, when Nana and Bawu made that promise you and I were not there.

Eish, what kind of wahala is this? Another call? Okay, friends please just a moment.

Hello, please who is this?

I'm Joseph, and I'm calling from Kumasi.

I'm Tony, and how may I help you?

Tony or whatever you call yourself. Do you know how it is to lose a job under a purported banking reform when you have a sick wife to take care of and young children to raise? Why should you rub salt in my wound by telling me to praise the very people who made me lose my job?

Cring, cring, cring. Kai, Awurade Yakubu, today be today! Another call?

Hello, Tony here.

My friend what kind of rubbish is that?

Oh, chief, calm down! Please what is your name and where are you calling from?

Look, my name is Seidu and I'm calling from Obuasi. Weren't you in this country in 2016 when Nana Akufo-Addo and Bawumia said they will promote galamsey when they are given the opportunity to rule this country? And what do we see? Do you know that some of my colleagues engaged in galamsey have died out of destitution? And you're writing this gibberish that we should do what? Walahi talahi, we'll come and deal with you if you don't take care. Were we not more comfortable under Mahama than Akufo-Addo?

Eiwoo, please I shouldn't be your target oo, I was only using an ironic expression for some literary effect oo. If you have anything to do kindly register your anger on 7th December oo, you can use your thumb to "chicha" if you like, so please don't come and trouble me oo. I'm sitting my somewhere thinking of myself wae.

Hello, hello; Seidu, are you on the line? Can you hear me please? Oops, folks, I've lost him. But I beg, somebody should call him back and plead for me wae, the guy make wild paa, I don't want any "chicha" distin.

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