By Kwarteng, Francis

Every time government changes hands the new government makes wild allegations blaming the previous government for turning the public purse into a basket of water, for putting the national economy in a chokehold of bleeding incontinence.

The verdict is that, according to the new government, the national economy is choking on the stinking vomit of institutional corruption.

Yet the same new government that mourns the walking-dead obituary of the public purse goes ahead to suck it dry.

A rich country that is thirsty in perpetuity in the abundance of water!

A country ruled by a gang of schadenfreude, hypocritical moirologists!

Ghost names on government payroll. Ghost names paid regularly for absolutely no work done.

But the legitimate demands of the school child who eventually dies in deathtraps and graveyards called “classroom” are ignored.

Nurses go for months without pay. Teachers go for months without pay. National Service Personnel go for months without pay…

But the useless wealthy politician is paid on time without ceasing, and heavily, so to speak, in addition to his unceasing plunder of the public purse and stealing of state properties, both with reckless abandon.

Don’t even bother to factor in the underserved humungous ex-gratia payments made out to this lazy political milquetoast.

Open-defecation democracy and galamsey-polluted politics everywhere, overseen by this Ghanaian politician.

When the Ghanaian politician is not lying in the demoralizing stench of moral stupidity he is of course stealing everywhere, abusing incumbency for partisan political advantage, exercising arrogance of power and of coercive power, selling what remains of the country to themselves and to their cronies and to their foreign interests—and he ironically calls this shameful behavior “the national interest.”

Murderous bovarist thieves, these wicked and cold politicians—all of them.

Political bastards and scarlet prostitutes with no pedigree of political morality, no teachable bones and blood of conscionability—in their amorally cancerous bodies.

The New Patriotic Party (NPP) and the National Democratic Party (NDC) seesawing with Ghanaians.

Is it any wonder that the NDC and the NPP fundamentally see themselves as spitting images of each other?

They say to each other: “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch ours.”

Helping out to clean the other’s derrière after open defecation in the mouths of Ghanaians, these politicians.

Seesawing. Merry-go-round. Vicious cycle of political stupidity—this bloodsucking schadenfreude duopoly.

Murderous thieves!

Professional liars!

Political thieves!

Organized criminals!

Thieves in law!

Professional criminals!

Enemies of progress!

Unpatriotic milquetoasts!

Politicians known only for their unbidden schadenfreude tears. Car thieves—these wicked politicians with no sense of moral compass.

Why must politicians be allowed to buy cars at uncompetitive prizes, that is to say luxury cars bought and paid for by the sweat of the hardworking taxpayer, when the curtain is drawn on their terms of public service?

Ask the wicked and cold politician: How many ambulances and other emergency medical services vehicles does Ghana have?

Instead of buying more luxury cars for these shameless car thieves, why don’t we buy more ambulances and other emergency medical services vehicles, say?

Or use the money earmarked for the purchase of these luxury cars to service, maintain, or build quality networks of roads to ease the staggering frustrations of farmers and to assist them distribute perishable farm produce to all corners of the country?

The idea that the taxpayer will buy luxury cars for the exclusive use and benefit of these negrified idiots and buffoons, who continue to under-develop the country and to barter our vast natural resources for stupidity, is the height of stupidity.

What did these luxury cars do for P.V. Obeng at the point of death?

Question is, didn’t Angel Obinim ask Ghanaians to come to his church if they wanted cars? Are our politicians cursed to love or be infatuated with luxury cars?

Why then is Owusu Bempah reportedly advising Akufo-Addo to shun this fleet of luxury cars?

Could that have come about on the advice of Bempah’s angels who came down from heaven to vote for Akufo-Addo?

What car(s) did Akufo-Addo use during and after his presidential inauguration?

Are these political mystery and conundrums about “missing” state cars a staged malicious soundtrack to potential public and moral battles between the NPP and the NDC, a calculating political stagecraft meant to discredit the NDC and Mahama?

Why do these arguments and counter-argument, claims and counter-claims, and such occur whenever and every time the two main parties change hands at the presidency?

With profuse availability of advanced, sophisticated inventory technologies in this age and time, are our technocrats and politicians saying these “missing” cars cannot be accounted for?

These overly doted-upon politicians seem to be fighting over, gossiping and griping about cars when the manufacturers of these cars are polluting our environment and stealing our natural resources.

We can only hope that the political robot at the center of the disgraceful jejune inaugural-speech plagiarism, Eugene Arhin is not merely parroting a plagiarized allegation and canard meant to discredit the out-gone government.

Missing cars?

What are the Bureau of National Investigation (BNI) and the Criminal Investigations Department (CID) doing about this problem that, from all indications, Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and Indian children can easily solve for us?

Kandahar Boys?

Azoka Boys?

Bolga Bull Dogs?

Invisible Forces? Or, is it Invincible Forces?

Calling “men” boys!

Indeed!

Calling “men” boys.

Fools!

No wonder post-Nkrumah Ghana has fallen into a cesspit of leadership crises. From K.A. Busia…to…Akufo-Addo—all boys disguised as men.

Again, one wonders how these boys are paid and who pays these unemployed boys, urchins—bulls, boys, and dogs, trained for political turf wars at the expense of national security and social stability?

Akufo-Addo should be spreading out his Invisible Forces across the length and breadth of the country to clean up the disgraceful mountains of mess we call open defecation, but, no, his strong desire to control and define the new power dynamics is dictating his trademark politics of intimidation.

Instead of celebrating, or shall we say, mourning, our paralyzing frustration as to why open defecation has become an albatross around our necks, why we have become slaves and habituated to widespread national filth, and so forth, we are investing humungous sums of money in chasing after a fata morgana called “independence.”

Oh these foolish, shameless zhilaohu politicians! Oh these foolish, shameless paper-tiger politicians!

A zhilaohu politician called Akufo-Addo. A paper-tiger politician called Mahama.

Eventually Akufo-Addo has assumed the titular infamy of a Don Corleone at the headship of the Akyem Mafia at the presidency, hiding behind a frosted glass of political theology to subvert the rule of law and to impose his bitter dose of jungle justice upon his real and perceived political enemies—suspected car thieves.

Thus the presidency has become a status symbol of mob rule, of bob justice. We are directly referring to the newly created Assets Confiscation Task Force (ACTF), a criminal organization, at the presidency with its knack for futile, abortive Rambo-style seizure of suspected state cars through vigilante justice.

No due diligence. No warrants. Abuse of incumbency. Arrogance of power. Subversion of the rule of law by a political party that prides itself on the rule of law.

A political party led by an All-Die-Be-Die and Yen-Akanfuo politician who secretly imported Serbian and South African mercenaries to train political terrorists called “The Invisible Forces”—on the blind side of the security forces and the intelligence community, to cause mayhem in post-election Ghana in the event that the NPP failed to wrest political power from the NDC.

Now the chickens have come to roost.

But, as expected, the Invisible Forces will not go around the country and seize our minerals and oil/gas reserves which our politicians have given away to foreign interests and investors practically on the cheap!

Instead the Invisible Forces is after public toilets!

Yes, its members feed on toilets, stinking feces, digesta, just like the Dung Beetle does.

And, yes, if we can put it otherwise, we will also say members of the Invisible Forces are infatuated with the paralyzing stench of human feces—our stinking open-defecation democracy. They are just addicted to the artificial aroma of open defecation—that is.

Yet, the same Invisible Forces does not even care that open defecation places Ghana as the seventh dirtiest country on the planet.

The Invisible Forces could not care less whether or not our politicians are even in control of their mental faculties!

Panama Papers co-author John Kufuor said acting on every single corruption allegation will collapse his government. Mahama said the same thing.

And, surprisingly, Akufo-Addo has given strong indications to follow in their footsteps, Mahama’s and Kufuor’s.

Akufo-Addo has seen fit to, as it were—reportedly—choose his crony, confidant and party loyalist lawyer Akoto Ampaw, rather than Martin Amidu, as Special Prosecutor-designate.

Now members of the NPP can go ahead and steal and even do as they wish. Special Prosecutor Ampaw will borrow Angel Obinim’s wings to protect them from investigation and criminal prosecution.

No government official has to bother looking over his or shoulder.

Akufo-Addo appears to be running from his approaching mirage, his incoming shadow, although Amidu is in an in-situ posture, already transfixed by the moral squalor of the Akufo-Addo presidency.

Do you, Dear Reader, remember Akufo-Addo’s plagiarized inaugural speech and the high-rise magnitude of international disgrace Ghana and Africa incurred on the basis of academic or intellectual honesty?

In other words, barely two months into his hopeful presidency and Akufo-Addo is already showing serious signs of early symptoms moral, intellectual and political fatigue.

Scheming crazy-baldhead political animals, who only feed on alternative facts and post-factual politics.

The partisan political face is merely a mask, a Janus-faced status symbol of first-order political criminality.

In the final analysis, then, it really does not matter the true content of the partisan political face the presidency wears—the national narrative is still the same.

And thus, Ghana, our beloved country, will forever remain in a vegetative state of arrested development with these political sickos, unpatriotic milquetoasts, political pedophiles and rapists, ghost writers of children’s deaths and obituaries, and slimy political bastards in positions of authority.

We shall return…