Great minds, they say, think alike. I was thinking of the heading to use for today’s piece when I chanced upon the above heading on the Facebook wall of my friend Newton Abeiku Offei. He used to be a colleague columnist at Daily Guide and is currently a staffer at the Presidency. The heading coincided with my thoughts so I decided to borrow it.

You know who a pimp is, don’t you? A pimp is a man who controls prostitutes and arranges clients for them, taking a percentage of their earnings in return.

Once upon a time, this country witnessed the exploits of one of the greatest pimps to ever set foot on its shores. He was proud of the nefarious acts of his damsels and did not hide his admiration for their whorish exploits. He also did not leave any stone unturned in his determination to protect his wayward girls. All that mattered to him were the cowries that the ladies brought. He epitomised the traits of those Dr Jerry Boom once described as ‘greedy bastards’.

After working as assistant pimp for over two-years and subsequently as chief pimp for 4-years, his cup became full. He was arrested by the security authorities and incarcerated for 4-years. How we all jubilated over his incarceration!

Less than two-years into his incarceration, the chief pimp has come out to say that he would rid the country of prostitution after serving his sentence. A good desire, if you asked me!

But how can we believe the chief pimp when he still maintains that his damsels did no wrong in selling their bodies in return for cowries? How can his desire be genuine when he has not renounced the pimping business? Obviously, his proclamation is nothing but an attempt to hoodwink his compatriots into sympathizing with him.

Abusuapanin, are you still wondering who the chief pimp is? He is no other than the man who institutionalized create, loot and share in this country. He is the man who responds to the name President Ogwanfunu.

Such is a man who publicly denounces corruption but privately does everything possible to promote it. We were all in this country when the Ford gift saga became a topical issue. Although all attempts, including a concocted report by CHRAJ, were made to bury the truth, even the most gullible among us could tell that the man’s hands were tainted. The circumstance of the meeting between President Ogwanfunu and Djibril Kanazoe, the Burkinabe contractor, revealed the truth behind the Ford gift.

Per Djibril’s own account, after failing to win a contract in Ghana, he got in touch with then Vice-President Ogwanfunu through a friend called Mike Aidoo, aka Mikado. Obviously, the motive for befriending the then vice-president was to win contracts, which he subsequently did. He got the Ghana Embassy Fence Wall Project in Burkina Faso and other road projects in Ghana. The Ford gift was therefore to say thank you to President Ogwanfunu. Tell me this is not a bribe and I would tell you Bukom Banku is a female.

I vividly remember the challenge President Ogwanfunu threw to me and his other compatriots to point to a single act of corruption he had been engaged in. The Citizen Vigilante accepted the challenge and dared him to deny inflating the cost of the Embraer jets and the hangar. The Citizen Vigilante supported his claim by revealing the formation of a committee to investigate the shady deal, which sadly never saw the light of day.

Almost six years have passed since the Citizen Vigilante made the damning revelation and we are yet to hear him even cough on the matter. That is quite revealing, considering the fact that President Ogwanfunu does not shy away from responding to even trivial accusations. His silence on the matter is very deafening!

The numerous create, loot and share schemes under his watch easily come to mind. The sad SADA story, the akomfem debacle, the phantom tree planting exercise, the SUBAH pillage, the Bus branding loot and many others.

One noticeable trait of his was how he shamelessly protected his corrupt appointees by bringing them under his wings at the presidency. We all saw how Honourable Chooboi was protected by the presidency after literally lining his pocket with state cowries in Brazil. He and one other greedy bastard shed crocodile tears at the Dzamefe Commission in order to court the sympathy of their compatriots. But we know better, don’t we?

There is nothing wrong with President Ogwanfunu dreaming of another shot at the presidency. But that is all it is- a dream. It will continue to be a dream because we know a pimp cannot rid Ghana of prostitution.