A Satirical Poem: Vampire Politicians Eat State Tractors

By Akadu Ntiriwa Mensema, Ph. D.; Post-Grad. Dipl.



ACT 1: PROLOGUE TO THIEVERY



People of Ghana our tractors were put on sale

On the auction block in the Slave Castle

Where Uncle Atta Mills is snorting tea in his

“Special Remote Control” office



But the public no dey hear about the national sale of tractors

Public no dey know about this sale

Police people no dey know

Soldier people no dey know

Teacher people no dey know

Nurse people no dey know

Fisherman people no dey know

Artisan people no dey know

Na farmer people no dey know

Market women people no dey know

Unbiz people no dey know

Kayayo people no dey know



So na who go buy the government tractors on the auction block?

Tax-payers’ tractors for sale

Donkome Donkome

Donkome Donkome

The tractors go sell like yoke-gari at Royal Ridge Palace

The tractors go sell like Nsawam bread

The tractors go sell like Mankesim-Junction Fante dokono

The tractors go sell like Bukom banku

The tractors go sell like Keta “school boys”

The Tractors go sell like face-the-wall in Mamobi

So na who go buy the government tractors on the auction block?

Tax-payers’ tractors for sale

While auctioneering houseflies of corruption dance on the auction block



ACT 2: AYARIGA THE POOR MAN WITH FIVE TRACTORS



Mills stopped at Ayariga’s palace

And mummified in perpetual confusion

Mills happily declared Ayariga’s palace as his THIRD HOME

Then Mills oiled the machine of corruption

And patented a batakari for Ayariga

Emblazoned with “Government Tractors for Sale

And only the Ayarigas must buy them”

Ayariga put on the batakari shirt

And rushed to count his money

Well, poor poor Ayariga

He is not like Alhaji Muntaka, our 2009 sports hero who plays for

NDC DIAPER STARS,

Who knows how to make girlfriends do the rounds while

Holding the Balls of the Ministry of Sports

Ayariga laments that the Mills regime has made him a TRUE CAPITALIST

After all Ayariga buys his own diapers

He buys his own cooking oil

He buys his own baby oil

He buys his own salt and pepper

Tax payers do not pay for his girlfriends to carry his balls around



ACT 3: AYARIGA MEETS ALL-WEATHER BAGBIN



Ayariga flies like a housefly chasing NPP scent no oh!

Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor

Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor

Ayariga arrives at Bagbin’s allotted colony of anything-goes

Bagbin misreads the sign on Ayariga’s batakari: FREE TRACTORS FOR SALE

And Bagbin dances to the music of the houseflies

Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor

Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor

Remember that Bagbin supports any policy issued by NPP, NDC and even DDT

That benefits his pockets, pants, or party

Na constitution na no constitution Bagbin misinterprets

Na tradition or no tradition, Bagbin go use am

Na Bagbin no de shake his head

Na Bagbin no dey wag his fingers

Na Bagbin only dey shake his full pocket



ACT 4: DEM ALL BE VAMPIRE POLITICIANS

Dem all be VAMPIRE politicians

Dem be ostensible SOCIALISTS and DEAD MARXISTS when poor

Dem be SOCIAL DEMOCRATS when yoke-gari-poverty is their friend

All vampire politicians steal in order to become CAPITALISTS

See dem dey fight over CARS

Because they have loans on a loan

They have free petrol

They have free drivers

They have per diem based on mileage travelled on

pot-holed roads

They have free POT-HOLED roads all to themselves

Vampire Politicians

We dey drain blood from Ghanaians

We dey drain oil from tax-payers’ tractors

Vampire politicians na toli oh toli NDC toli NPP toli

Mills says Muntaka didn’t buy diapers

That Muntaka only bought childish cotton encased in diaparized rubber

Surely Ayariga can buy five tractors

Yes, five government-owned tractors

One man one tractor

One Ayariga five tractors

And that is the magic of Ghanaian politicians

Dem broke or no broke them dey enjoy oh

Free tractors plus 50,000 dollars to buy a car

Well, country broke or not the vampires don’t care



ACT 5: EPILOGUE – ROYAL RIDGE PALACE LOSES ITS BOOMS



Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor

Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor, Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor

The tractors’ cacophonic beats have drowned boom boom boom

Boom boom at the Royal Ridge Palace

Where the King occupies three bungalows with nine toilets

But where the King preaches the philosophy of one person,

two buttocks, and one toilet

And where His Royal Silence has howled that

Whistleblowers Ampom and Odoom vomit money they didn’t chop

The NDC should sell Muntaka-in-Political Diapers T-Shirts

Kyinkyinga T-Shirts

Voodoo T-Shirts

Girl-friend holding balls T-Shirt

And Muntaka should keep his diapers to

drain Mills’ soiling image



Akadu N. Mensema is a Denkyira beauty. She is a trained oral historian and

sociologist, and is a Professor in the USA. She writes what critics have



called “populist hyperbolic, satirical” poetry. She can be reached at

akadumensema@yahoo.com