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Opinions of Saturday, 2 January 2010

Columnist: The Royal Enoch

A Ghanaian Couple's Marriage Drama

On the fifth of April 2009, my friend, whom for the sake of anonymity I would refer to as George had his wife deported back to Ghana. I met George during one of those Ghanaian outdoorings in Amsterdam. George had been residing in the Netherlands for about three years. As the party proceeded in all its glitz and glamor, George, who was obviously intoxicated started talking to me about his private life. He told me about his struggle with the Dutch language. Also, how he arrived in the Netherlands, and so on and so forth. He further went on to describe to me how it feels like to be married to a White woman. During our conversation, George told me point blank that he was not happy with his marriage. He said that he didn't feel free at all in the marriage. He also added quite frankly that the White woman was trying to turn him into a woman. The control in his marriage was unbearable, he said.

In my naiveté, I told him to leave her for somebody else if that would make him happy. George grinned at me, and said that he has an ulterior motive for staying. He told me that he would do what he considers necessary, when the right moment arrives. The party was now nearing its end, and with it the time for all invitees to part ways. I stood up and left-promising George that I would stay in touch. Our paths never crossed again up until one day, when a friend invited me for a baptism. George was also present during this baptism. I guess it must be a small world after all. I walked up to him and reintroduced myself. George was pleasantly surprised as I was. Then again, who wouldn't be after all these years? He came over to my house the next day so we could catch up a little.

During this visit, George told me that he was now officially divorced from the White lady. Moreover, his Dutch citizenship was also in order. I congratulated him on his wish come true. George went on to inform me how he had met a lady, whilst in Ghana the previous year. They had remained friends, and he was thinking about bringing her over to Holland. I told him to go for it-I foresaw no problems. This lady came to Holland exactly a year after our held conversation. She was an absolute angel when she arrived. And I don't mean her looks only, but also the way she went about doing things. She was extremely polite, reserved, helpful and humble. But then something changed. See, George was the one, who was footing all the bills. Simply because; this lady couldn't work-her working permit wasn't yet rounded.

As customary in Holland, this lady needed to complete an integration course before she could be granted her working permit. She successfully passed the course, and was granted a working permit. According to George-this lady's behavior changed the very moment she started working, and making money on her own. She became a different person altogether. She would work during the week, and spend most of her weekends away at her friends. George said that she would return on Sunday nights completely exhausted. Sexual activities between both of them became less to none. When George confronted her with this issue, she told him that he should give himself a hand-job. Cooking in their house also deteriorated because she preferred take-aways.

When George suggested that both of them should share the house bills, she told George that; who was helping him pay these bills before she came? George went on to tell me that matters between both of them have taken turn for the worse. I advised George to take it easy, and that she would eventually come around. George didn't listen. George called me up one day, and said that his marriage was over. He had filed for divorce, and this lady was on her way out of the country. George actually had her deported back to Ghana. Now, what I would like to know is; did George act right or should he have opted for marriage counseling before taking this decision? Because according me-a wife should be for life, or am I wrong?