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Opinions of Wednesday, 21 November 2018

Columnist: Robert Abalungo

5 reasons which give way to broken homes in our world today

Funny enough, I’m not a married man. But please permit me to comfortably share my views on five reasons which give way to broken homes in our world today. By the way, I’m somewhat even qualified to write about this subject. This accrues from the fact that, I either had some ex-girlfriends before, or maybe, I even still have some girlfriends today.

Almost all marriages are products of girlfriend-boyfriend relationships which successfully progressed into such supposed lifelong unions. A lot of marriages today have lost meanings. What we only see happen nowadays is nothing but two lovers who stand before sacramental altars and priests to make unfounded promises before man and god that they would never split until death separates them.

Ironically, these untrustworthy promises sometimes fail to manifest their usefulness in the long run. The result of these failed promises is what we call divorce. But this is completely normal. Successful marriages do yield responsible offsprings who remain to create progenies. Let’s quickly list some factors which lead to divorce.

Infidelity

As I opined above, some marriage partners are only good at making promises. We commonly hear lies like, “Sweetheart, I will never cheat on you”, “You mean the world to me” and a lot more. To approach facts in a boldly manner, some married couples don’t live by their words. Couples who find no sexual satisfaction with their partners eventually step out of their marriages to seek better extramarital sex.

The interesting issue here is that, there are few partners who engage in adultery in order to seek economic benefits. Wealth doesn’t necessarily guarantee a successful and trustworthy marriages. Sadly, and surprisingly, there are many rich marriages that have fallen on the rocks. We have heard a lot of stories where rich football players father unknown children from their wives.

Some married men also produce illegal kids with different women who aren’t their legitimate partners. Conversely, there are lot of impoverished marriages which have stood the test of time. When the hidden sexual agendas of unfaithful couples are finally brought to the limelight, the immediate result is normally divorce.

Childlessness

This isn’t uncommon in our society today. The main reasons for many marriages is to procreate. Even though, sexual gratification might stand as the focus of other marriage types, generally, most couple marry in order to produce children. Consequently, in situations where married couples struggle unsuccessfully for decades to produce just one child, the end result is normally separation. But this is completely understandable. In many of such unfortunate scenarios, sometimes the childless couple eventually take bold collective decisions to end their marriage. To them, there is no use in staying together without having children.

Unresolved conflicts

Married couples aren’t always perfect, happy and compatible as we see them. Disagreements over crucial decisions such as family planning, social security and sharing or possession of properties could engulf couples. When fights, insults and disrespect constantly erupt among couples, there is a higher tendency for divorce to gradually eat its way into such marriages. However, when conflicting partners are humble enough to seek counselling or peaceful conflict resolutions, sometimes it’s possible to save such quarreling marriages from divorce. There are also marriages in which partners are consumed by pride, disrespect and animosity. Physical assault or bullying by partners will eventually lead to divorce. It is very common for partners in rural traditional marriages to suffers beatings and threats from their spouses. How long can partners endure such brutal beatings? Definitely, not for many years.

Sexual incompatibilities

Sex is very important in marriages. It is the accident that leads to the occurrence of pregnancies and later on, child birth. In situations where married partners do not get the desirable amount of sexual intercourse from their better-halves, issues could turn worse. When the man or woman is very weak in bed and can’t last for a reasonable amount of time during intercourse, it could leave the fate of such a marriage in tatters. Some couples also develop insatiable sexual desires (addiction to sex). It’s impossible for an impotent man to settle down successfully with a prostitute. It’s a clear fact. Let’s don’t argue.

Extreme poverty

Some couples produce countless children but lack the economic resources to cater for the needs of such overpopulated families. Lack of money to buy basic household necessities such as food, water, shelter and clothing could mar the joys of married couples. How can a couple have sex like if their stomachs are empty? Like the saying goes, “an army matches on its stomach.” Its unwise to expect a successful marriage from couples who continuously shirk their responsibilities. Good mothers should cook food for the family, bath the kids and fetch water. Responsible husbands should pay children school fees, provide shelter and foodstuff for the family. When couples fail to meet growing demands for basic needs and cost of utilities, it could result in divorce; a possible solution to that misery.

I hope you found sense in this article. Leave some comments below.

Writer: Robert Abalungo (Bob Bright)

BSc. Physics, KNUST

Call or WhatsApp me: +233549086173