LIFESTYLE: You can't forget the one you once loved - Counsellor Adofoli

Trying to forget someone you love or once loved is one of the mistakes people do on a daily basis when they end a love relationship and want to move on with their lives. The truth is you can't forget love when you try forgetting you will realize how good your memory is. The emotions involved make such a process more difficult.

No matter how old you get, you will recognize or remember the one you once loved when you get in touch or hear of them. The feeling for them might die but that does not mean you forget them. So stop forcing yourself to forget the person you once loved.

People moving on from these love relationships need to know they can't forget the people they once fell in love with, but their feelings for them can die.

Most at times, it is a battle between the mind and the heart. One wants to let go, the other holds on to it because of the strong feelings involved. We need to know the two organs work differently. The more time you spend thinking about the person you want to forget or let go, you will never let that person go.

To let them go, you must focus or engage your mind on something else. If you are in a new relationship and all you do is think about your Ex, spend time going through their pictures and what you shared with them, going through their posts, letters, messages etc, then you can't let that Ex go. Your feelings for them will only grow stronger.

If you have the ritual of staring at their status, profile picture or Display, stalking your Ex, always asking about them from people, trying to contact them, be in constant communication, wanting to know what is new in their lives, what they are up to, visiting the places that you used to visit together, eating the foods that you used to eat together, wearing colours or partaking in activities you used to do together, you will never let them go in your mind, and the stronger your feelings for them will be.

You end up missing them every day, you live with them in your mind and the heart yet they are far away from you in distance. This action of yours will destroy or negatively affect any new relationship. Or you might not feel like going into any new relationship.

When a relationship is over, it is a good time to start a new chapter of your life, something exciting and interesting. This is the time you take up new hobbies, try new things, else your life will get more boring if you stay within the limits of doing what you already know or repeating what you did with your Ex.

Just as the tree does not bother about the flowers that fall and it is always busy making new flowers blossom so should you. Life is not about what you lost but what you can still grow. When you learn to do this, you will be amazed how your feelings for your Ex will die and be buried in the past. When you bump into them, you will recognize them but feel nothing for them.

Always remember there is no life in the past, that is why you can't live in the past. That is why you can't go back and make changes; but the good news is, you can start making changes where you are on how you want your story to end. Happy ever after is not late, now is the time.

In conclusion "and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” - John 8:32 (TLB).

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