Lifestyle: Don't make a boy your slave master - Counselor Adofoli

It is very sad and unfortunate to see young, beautiful ladies with a bright future who lack good parental upbringing ending up in a relationship with infant-aged and boys, who don't know their left from their right, but think being able to have sex makes them men.

Such relationships have no future. When two unqualified people link up, it is called Wrong Connection.

Truth be told, many young ladies have what I call slave master but they term it as boyfriend, who control and manipulate their lives. The slave masters determine the kind of friends they should have, where to go and abuse them when they go against their commands.

Unfortunately for these ladies, because the guy may be the first person who kissed them, cuddled them or broke their virginity, they believe that is their first love. Although this treatment gets them sad each day, they have no option than to remain with the wrong connection.

Some end up falling on other mates of theirs in similar relationships for advice, and you can imagine the lies they are told. "Stay and pray, it will be better", "That is how relationships are".

Many are those who finance their slave masters, either with their pocket money, feeding fees, allowance or salary. You will be surprised to know somehow slave masters put pressure on them to borrow money from friends and family, to take loan with their pay slip or even steal to give them. Yet they don't pay back. They don't enjoy these monies with them but rather on other ladies or personal goals. When the ladies complain their masters abuse them emotionally and physically in addition to the debt they owe.

One thing about life is, when one is dead, he or she doesn't know. It is the loved ones who know and are left with pain. It is the same with foolishness; many young ladies are so stupid and don't know so they keep going back to these guys over and over each time they are left for someone else. It is their family and loved ones who know their relationship status who feel the pain. It is an error to think a man loves you because he keeps coming back to you after causing you so much pain. The truth is, that man loves the power he has over you, not love for you. And he knows you will take him back each time he returns because you have invested so much in him.

You become their cure but they, on the other hand, were your disease. Whilst you were saving them, they were killing you. You don't have to allow someone's bad behaviour destroy you. Stop listening to someone who is mean to you. Walk away from someone who is rude to you. Stand firm and distance yourself from someone who tries to put you down in the name of relationship.

Don't feel bad for making the right decision which will upset him anyway. You are not responsible for his happiness; the only one you are responsible for is yours.

No man has power over you, no man can own you, so let no one control you. Let no one enslave you. You are not their property and should not be forced to obey or please them. A slave master has no love for you. He loves the fact that he has a toy to use and abuse which is you.

Why should you go into a relationship when you know you are not ready for marriage? Why will you apply for a job which requires the qualification of a degree holder, when you are just a candidate for degree?

In conclusion "You will be safe, if you always do right, but you will get caught, if you are dishonest" - Proverbs 10:9 (CEV).

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