Lifestyle: When love becomes suicidal – Counselor Adofoli

Have you taken a minute to ask why people kill for love? Why people take their lives in the name of love? Why people die for love? Why people live for love? I am very sure you have not thought of that. Some people think it is nonsense, foolishness, childish; others think it is an illness whilst some say it is spiritual.

Well, whatever your view is, this message has some useful lessons for you. The kind of love people kill for or die for is not God's kind of love, it is what I term romantic love. Whenever you fall in such love, you begin to see things differently; you attach special meaning to things. You don't see like every other person does.

When you see your beloved in the company of people, no matter how ugly he or she is, you think they are the most beautiful or handsome amongst the lot. They can be in the same uniform but you think their uniform is more beautiful than the rest.

People can give you the lists of things which are negative about them, you can also list the things you don't like about them, yet all your focus is on the things you like about them. No wonder someone says love is blind.

People become so much obsessed with the one they are in love with, they think about them all day and night. It's not surprising that many people become less productive when they fall in love. They spend almost all their working hours watching pictures of their loved ones, reading old chats and talking to them.

They like everything their lover likes; this is why they can be negatively influenced. People indulge in premarital sex not just because they want to, but the one they have fallen in love with wants that from them. People smoke, drink and do things they never thought of ever doing just because they fell in love and their lover wants them to.

They crave to be with this particular person they are in love with, not just physically, but emotionally and sexually; he or she becomes their source of happiness. If their lover is sick, it seems they are also sick. They don't mind dying for that person.

Romantic love as people see it is not just emotion as people think but rather a drive. It's like being addicted to cocaine, that’s how it feels. Their life depends on the lover so you can imagine what their reaction will be when the supposed lover says 'its over between us'. It's as if their world has come to an end. They don't have any reason to live again. They just want to end their lives.

They think their life is meaningless without this special person they have fallen in love with. Many of these people assumed that such relationships will never come to an end. They don't know how to let go and move on. They live in the good memories and refuse to let the past go.

All this happens because we refuse to fall in love with God and ourselves first. If you understand God loves you unconditionally and will never leave nor forsake you, you will begin to love yourself. You don't have to chase someone for those needs. You will also know they can always leave but God never leaves.

Don't live to please anyone in the name of love. Only live for God. If anyone threatens your peace of mind, self-respect and self-worth, just walk away from them. Do that for the good of your life and your future. Never try taking your life for the sake of someone. When you do that you are a murder and God will deal with you. Your life is not own, it is for God.

In conclusion "Be sincere in your love for others. Hate everything that is evil and hold tight to everything that is good" - Romans 12:9 (CEV). Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.