Popular marriage counselor, Frank Edem Adofoli, has asserted that sex shouldn't be a tool for entertainment in relationships adding that couples must clearly communicate their needs to avoid the risk of having troubled relationships.

Mr Adofoli explained that the circumstances that pushed Yvonne to abort her pregnancy as narrated in her book, I Am Not Yvonne Nelson, points to the unpreparedness of both Yvonne Nelson and Sarkodie leading to the sad termination of the pregnancy.

He added that people ought to know whether or not they are in a good position to meet the needs of their potential partners before going into relationships with them.

He also admonished people to live cautiously so as to not have past events haunt them in the future.

He added that this exact development have been repeating itself in today's society adding that lessons should be drawn from it to avoid future occurance.

Full statement below:

This issue with Yvonne Nelson and Sarkodie in the public space now is not something new. It is something lots of people have gone through and many are experiencing the same as now. The question is, what can we learn from their stories which can add value to our lives. It’s on this basis that I write.

Basically, people go into relationships because of their needs, be they physical, psychological, social, spiritual, etc. but the question they don’t ask themselves is, what are the needs I have for which I’m seeking to be met.

The truth is, not everyone who comes your way or into your life understands what your needs are. That is why we have lots of problems in relationships. These problems are the results of unmet needs. We have met people who couldn’t communicate their needs well, collaborate with their partner or were not able to work with them.

The excerpt from Yvonne’s new book highlights her circumstance at the time she met Sarkodie. Coming from a place she was not accepted by the father, having to prove that through DNA and raised by a single mother, she was seeking a relationship where she feels a sense of belonging, is accepted and has the family she was lacking.

Meanwhile, Sarkodie was living with his parents, looking for a breakthrough in his music career and also in another relationship. Therefore, at that time and in the circumstances they each found themselves, they had different sets of needs and characters.

Unfortunately, these people did not communicate their needs or talk about their circumstances, coupled with the relationships they had at that time. They could have gotten carried away, one thing led to another and they found themselves in bed without thinking of the consequences of their action.

Pregnancy was not the news they expected. Imagine Yvonne, who wants to belong, being told to abort her pregnancy because her boyfriend was not ready and he also had another woman. Sarkodie on the other hand was afraid of being responsible, clearly the two did not have the capacity at that time.

Today, Yvonne wished she had kept the child because the circumstances are different now. We need to learn about our own needs and examine our circumstances to know if we have the capacity to meet them before embarking on a relationship. Hurt awaits us if we fail to do so.

S*x is not a tool for entertainment, it requires a high level of responsibility. The scars produced as a result of s*x cannot be erased. Personally, I believe Yvonne is writing about her experience as a sign of something difficult she has healed from, not to make Sarkodie look bad. Let’s live well so our past does not come back haunting us.

Frank Edem Adofoli (Counselor Adofoli)

Counselor, ADR Practitioner, Conference Speaker, Author

CEO, The Marriage Consult LTD.