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LifeStyle of Wednesday, 24 June 2020

Source: Counselor Frank Adofoli, Contributor

Marriage is not about the sexes


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Often at times, people see marriage as a battle of sexes, a competition between a man and a woman; what a man has vs what a woman has, what he has achieved vs what she has achieved. It’s sad to see a husband and wife fighting over how much each earns, what each brings to the table, their position on a social ladder, etc. Singles are using what one has or has achieved as criteria to accept a suitor.

Marriage is a union between sexes, a lifelong friendship between a male and a female. A bond between a man and a woman. Marriage is aimed at uniting the two sexes. In marriage, a man and a woman put their strengths together to achieve more and help each other to overcome their individual weaknesses.

We don't get into marriage with performance or curriculum vitae or resume. It’s about a strong bond between two opposite people. Marriage is not based on academic qualifications or achievement but rather on a firm conviction.

Marriage gives birth to a family and not a company or business with shares. Businesses or companies come to an end or fail but a family does not because it is founded on faith. What joins two opposite individuals together (man and woman) is love. The family is kept by God, that is why it's not destroyed.

We can't have former or Ex mother or father, because they are part of the family and because it's kept by God. You can have a former employee but we don’t have Ex or former sibling. It's a circle of strength. Life begins in the family and a family does not run out of love. Making family such an important pillar in life.

A man and woman might not have it all as individuals but when the two come together in marriage, they have it all by the power of their union. The strength of the man becomes the strength of the woman and vice versa. A husband can depend on the wife’s strength and vice versa. What the husband has is for the wife and vice versa.

Young ones going into marriage, you don't have to achieve everything your partner has to be able to get married to them, you don't have to obtain the same college degree or earn the same size of paid cheque to be together. It’s not a 50/50 affair, it’s 100/100. In marriage you give your all and not half-effort.

We are all different, having our own unique callings and purpose. Getting married doesn't mean we should have everything in the same size, quality etc. The husband and wife are like branches in a tree. The branches may have different directions in terms of their career, purpose, calling, differences but their root remains the same.

The love you share, and not your professions, career path, etc., should be strong enough to keep the union you share. If your partner loves you as much as you love them and not willing to give up on each other, you should work together to build your family. Working together requires total commitment, dedication, and loyalty.

In conclusion, "a man leaves father and mother, and in marriage, he becomes one flesh with a woman—no longer two individuals, but forming a new unity. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart.” - Mark 10:8-9 (MSG).

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