Words are easy ways to express our thoughts, opinions, judgments and beliefs but we must appreciate the fact that words are powerful. God created us by His words.

Satan deceived us by words and Jesus came to earth to save us with words. They are like arrows which when thrown, cannot be taken back.

Words also have psychic energy to perform just what we want them to do. They produce negative or positive ripple effects on our partners and return to us in multiple forms.

Whether good or bad, our words dominate our lives and relationships. They stir up victory or defeat. Words can make or unmake our relationships.

Our words reflect who we and our relationship is, therefore, a reflection of our words. Our words, therefore, bring life or death to our relationships.

Positive words

The Good Book tells us that positive words protect life, prevent trouble, calm anger, provide encouragement, give happiness and promote healing. Words of appreciation, gratitude, and kindness generate warmth in our lovers and make them react to us kindly.

Simple words like ‘I love you”, “thank you”, “I am glad I have you”, “sorry”, “you make me happy” are simple but effective ways to touch a lover’s heart because it makes him or her feel cherished, wanted and loved.

In difficult times, our words of encouragement and hope will lift our relationship from prison to paradise.

Many years ago, a man took his wife to her hometown to dissolve their marriage. At the meeting, he listed many bad things she had done. The woman knew they were not true but she did not offer any defense. She simply knelt down and told the gathering that her husband had been so good to her that she and her children would never make it without him.

She begged for forgiveness and flavoured it with tears. Everybody was touched and the man forgave her. Simple words saved her marriage.

Negative words

The Good Book says negative words are like snake poison and a sharp razor. They pierce like a sword and break friendships.

Negative words such as “you are hopeless”, “my former lover was better”, and “I regret marrying you” are internalised and not processed easily.

They create emotional pain, anger and bitterness. They generate criticism, arguments, hostility and manipulation. Many relationships have been destroyed by poor choice of words.

There is a story of a rich Ashanti royal who had arguments with his wife. During the fight, the woman called her husband ‘kwasea’ which translates to more than foolish but one who does not deserve any respect.

The man’s response was instant divorce and nothing changed his mind.

There is also the story of a woman who in public called her husband impotent. The man immediately committed suicide. The power of words!

Men must know that words have great impact on women. They are magnified many times in a woman’s brain. They are stimulated and aroused by positive, soft and loving words.

Simple words such as ‘I love you’ melt her heart. On the other hand, painful words such as ‘are you a woman’ destroy her feminine images and her self-esteem.

Many times men hurt their women more than they think. A man may ask why his woman should shed tears over a ‘small’ comment. What appears like simple words to a man can cause great damage to a woman.

Words, catalyst for your relationship

A catalyst is a substance which alters the rate of a chemical reaction. It may be positive and increase the rate of a reaction or may be negative (inhibitor) and slow it down or stop it. Our words act like a catalyst and may grow our relationship or destroy it.

Again, just as we need a small quantity of a catalyst to influence a reaction, in our relationships, it is the simple words such as ‘I love you’ or ‘I hate you’ that determine the health of our relationships.

Talking is the foundation of a fulfilling relationship. We must, therefore, keep talking to our lovers to tell them how we feel, share information, learn more about each other and build each other up. There is no better place to express and share our life than the words we share in our relationships. Our voice is the most important our partners hear.

Our words will stir up defeat or victory in our relationships. We should make time just to talk with our lovers but choose our words of affirmation, encouragement, motivation, love, acceptance, appreciation, comfort and hope. Let us spice our conversation with words of truth, purity and love.

Let no unwholesome words come out of your mouth. With our tongues we can build or destroy our relationships. Speak wisely. Let us choose words that nurture our relationships.