Lifestyle: Why do spouses change?

You often hear this statement "my spouse has changed, he or she is not the same person I got married to".

Some people wonder why the sudden change; others decide to use this change as an opportunity to get back to their old behaviour or lifestyle when they were single.

At the end of the day, the beautiful marriage with wonderful dreams comes crushing down, leaving scars of hurt on each other. If there are children, they suffer the most.

Sometimes parents end up pouring out the anger and frustration they feel towards their spouse, on these innocent kids.

Anyone going into marriage needs to know that the first few years of marriage is the most difficult stage. It serves as its foundation and a lot of work is required. It is the season of sowing and you need to do this for your own future.

The trouble is this stage starts right from your honeymoon; right from when you come from your ‘high’ state, so it’s difficult for some spouses to understand why it has to be so.

Before furniture can gain its beauty, it needs to be polished; before a farmer can harvest, he needs to sow; before you can earn interest on any account, you first need to invest.

There is a weeping part of every marriage but the good things is, it doesn't last forever. The bible says "His anger lasts a moment; His favor lasts for life! Weeping may go on all night, but in the morning there is joy" - Psalm 30:5 (TLB).

The only reason spouses change in their marriage is because of hurt. You can't hurt your spouse and expect them not to change. Pain changes people. So anytime you realize your spouse has changed, you need to find out what you have done to hurt them, and apologize for that.

Conflict is part of marriage, and unattended conflict creates fear. Fear creates distance between spouses, fear creates insecurity in marriage.

Sometimes spouses are quick to under estimate one's fear, this is inappropriate. All fear is fear. When your spouse opens up to you on something they are not happy with, take it as an opportunity to work on it. Refusal to do so will prevent them from opening up the next time.

The thing about hurt is, the people you love are the ones you hurt the most without knowing. Couples should always set a rule to forgive each other before going to bed each night so they can sleep with a clean heart.

Forgiveness is like pulling out the knife you were hurt with and not using it on anyone else, no matter the pain.

No matter how much you are hurt by your partner's actions, always remember the blessing you share is greater than the hurt. The fact that you fight always doesn't mean you don't love each other or married the wrong person. It only means you need time to learn more about each other.

In conclusion "Therefore let us pursue the things which produce peace and the things that build up one another" - Romans 14:19 (MEV).. Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.