Although it would be unfair to say all players are essentially the same in terms of traits and personality, anybody who labels themselves a “ladies’ man” holds firm to a base set of ideals. Hence, there are certain words that aren’t part of the Player’s vocabulary, and certain sayings that will never escape his lips. If you’re a woman and you’re asking yourself, “How can I spot a ‘player?’” then you simply need to listen for the following statements; if you ever hear any of them, your guy doesn’t qualify.

A successful pickup artist is typically endowed with the gift of gab, but thanks to time and experience, he carefully selects what chitchat he makes. To the receptive girl, it always sounds smooth and casual; never forced and never strained, and capable of allowing most any woman to relax in mere minutes. In short, Players are master conversationalists but they’re also experts at controlling their own fate. Always remember: Players would never say anything to compromise those aforementioned ideals.

“I love you”

It’s a predictable No. 1, but all the critical women out there should realize that avoiding this heartfelt statement saves you a great deal of stress and pain. As the Player has no enemies — male or female — and he frowns on manipulation and deception, he isn’t about to toy with a woman’s heart just to satisfy his base desires. At no point will a true ladies’ man say, “I love you.” While it does indeed stem from a dislike of commitment, these three little words only lead to trouble. A Player will spare you that. There may come a day when a pickup artist does say what every woman wants to hear when they’re playing “wedding dress-up” as little girls, but if so that means two things: 1) He means it; and 2) He has voluntarily turned in his Player license. Only the cruel and evil say, “I love you” to get what they want, and then go on their merry way.

“I don’t care — whatever you want to do”

At no point is a Player disinterested in his partner’s hobbies and activities, and at no point does he relinquish all control of the situation. There’s a reason why you typically only hear this statement from married or committed men; men who have already accepted their fate and have lost all interest in the proceedings. The ladies’ man is always interested in hearing a woman’s suggestions for plans and he’s never a doormat, as he understands the ceaseless female desire for avid communication. No man who claims to be successful in the playing field says, “I don’t care” very often, as it typically halts a discussion prematurely and signifies an apathetic approach to the relationship dynamic — and possibly even a weak personality. Besides, “whatever you want to do” could mean just about anything, and no Player leaves so much to chance.

“This is way too expensive”

He may think it, but he’d never say it. Having money certainly isn’t a prerequisite for all aspiring Players (although it helps), but one should never flaunt his lack of funds. Even if he has plenty of cash in the bank, the pickup artist will still avoid this all-too-common exclamation as it includes far too many negative implications. Even if she’s aware the man has money, she’ll assume he’s cheap, or if she’s the high-maintenance type, she’ll probably disappear before he can turn around twice. If the ladies’ man has no intention of springing for an expensive dinner or purchasing an expensive coat for his girl, he’ll deftly avoid the subject and steer the conversation in another direction. If you ever see a guy sit back in his chair after dinner and start whining about the bill, he ain’t no Player.

“Wanna f*ck?”

Despite popular opinion among the feminists, the Player exhibits a certain amount of class and sophistication at all times. Not only is this ridiculous question crass and adolescent in nature, it shows nothing in the way of tact and good breeding — both of which are required traits for any legitimate ladies’ man. On top of which, the observational and social talent of the Player allows him to accurately assess the situation; if she’s ready to go, he knows it. The transition from discussion to sex should be seamless and even wordless. At the same time, there’s no reason for any Player to ever ask for permission — i.e., “May I kiss you now?” — because it too is unnecessary. Some women may view the latter question as “sensitive” or “respectful,” but in reality it only shows a lack of confidence and understanding. The man in question is skilled in the art of seduction; such questions are beneath him.

“Sorry, I don’t have a condom”

Yeah, right. The Player who hits the night scene without a condom isn’t a Player at all. Some will immediately call this a misplaced sense of bravado or cockiness rather than confidence, but the truth of the matter is simple: A ladies’ man can snag a lady at any given time. It doesn’t always happen in the standard, traditional locations; it could happen in an elevator, a parked car or the restaurant bathroom. Who knows? The point is, a Player is always prepared and furthermore, he’s always safe. The lifestyle is appealing and exciting in a variety of different ways, but it can also be dangerous, and the responsible lover never says: “Nah, just forget the condom this one time!” He knows that “one time” could be his Waterloo, and because he ultimately respects every woman in the bedroom, he wouldn’t risk her well being either.

Player banter

If you ever hear a man say any of these five things, you can toss the “Player” label right out the window. Even the best of us slip up at times, but believe it or not, the pickup artist abides by a very strict set of rules that isn’t negotiable. The world of the Player is far more meticulous and carefully crafted than vibrantly chaotic.