Today, on our weekly love, sex and relationships column, we shall be reviewing a letter from Kesewaa, a twenty-seven (27) year old lady who had sex with her new “beau” on their first date and wants to know if that has cheapened her value as a lady.

She wrote “Naya, I do hope I get featured in your column that’s if my story is anything worth sharing.

My name is Kesewaa and I live in New Jersey. I met a guy during one of my daily business rounds and I kind of had a crush on him instantly. He later approached me after I made several attempts to make him notice me and soon, we got engaged in a pretty engaging conversation; we later exchanged contacts and promised to keep in touch.

“Naya, you know the feeling that you get drowned in when you meet someone for the first time? Yes… it was all over me. We texted each other almost every day for four (months and was exactly as I imagined. Leonard is the type of man who would send you funny videos and very interesting articles to his partner so as to spice up the communication and alter it a bit from the regular “I miss you” “what’s up?” kind of chat. We lived only a town apart but found it quite difficult to make ample time to see each other due to the dynamic and hectic nature of our daily schedules. Thank God for Skype and facetime! It made it so much easier to communicate with Leo; it was almost like we lived together under the same roof.

“Alas! Time came for Leo and I to see each other; He came over to my town one weekend just to see me, how sweet! And along with him were my favorite flowers ‘daisies’. We went for a walk, shared some hot dogs together and later had the most romantic dinner at his hotel room. I was just about leaving when Leo French kissed my thick African lips to which I immediately responded. Before I could say Jack! My clutch dropped to the floor, followed by my jacket, his shirt and pants and finally my spaghetti strapped dress (beneath which I wore nothing). Naya, I had sex with a guy who hadn’t even asked me out yet and I felt really bad after that but I did enjoy every bit of it… that guy totally ‘fifty shaded’ me that night and it was almost surreal. I drove back home feeling close to a cheap slut.

“I’m finding it hard to think straight and haven’t had the guts to return any of his calls because I feel so ashamed. Naya, do you think he found me cheap? Do you think I gave in too quick and easily? Am I even worth something to him anymore? I’d really use some soothing words of advice right now.”

Regards,

Kesewaa.

In my opinion, I think you gave up your cookie too easily looking at the fact that he hadn’t asked you to be his girlfriend “officially”. You are rather fortunate that he didn’t ignore you days after the act but is calling and texting you; this is basically because he truly does care a lot about you. Our thoughts have a way of reflecting on our personalities so do well to erase the “cheap thoughts” and this new way you’re beginning to see yourself. Keep being the strong, beautiful and outspoken lady Leo got attracted to but next time, just try and take it slow. I wouldn’t encourage any lady to have sex on the very first date but rather give it a little time in order to prevent the unnecessary drama and heartaches. Leo likes you more than you so just give it time and get to know him more.