Lifestyle: Do you show gratitude to your lover?

Human nature is selfish and negatively biased. We tend to focus on what is not working, vividly remember and complain of our failures in relationship instead of counting our blessings.

We also tend to take for granted the good things we have in our relationships. We expect certain things from our lovers and when they are done, we simply see them as what are supposed to be done anyway by our lovers. For example, a wife expects ‘chop money’ from her husband and the man expects food on the table.Fact, however, is if you ever expected to have a happy relationship, you should for each day show gratitude, being thankful for and ready to return kindness, wanting the best for those we are grateful for.

The power of gratitude

Whatever you focus on expands in your mind and becomes your life experience. If you focus on the weaknesses and failures in your lover, you never have enough or see anything good in your lover and relationship. On the other hand, if you focus on the good things of your lover and become thankful, you set up a foundation for a successful relationship.

Gratitude improves your health because it reduces blood pressure, gives better sleep and happier mood. When you feel grateful, you feel motivated, calm, energetic and content. Grateful lovers are more optimistic and build intimacy because gratitude stimulates attraction. It is also known that gratitude leads to other virtues such as laughter, fun, compassion and mercy which make you to commit better to each other. A mindset of gratitude is, therefore, a miracle cure and a powerful tool to enrich your relationship.

Do you to show gratitude your lover?

Start with yourself. Cultivate a sense of sense-love. Feel good about yourself and always focus on the good qualities in you. It is only when you savour positive expression of yourself that you can show gratitude to others. Feel good about good things you do and when your lover says or does something good for you.

Accept your lover just as he or she is. Let him or her be himself or herself. Each day, focus on the good things your lover has or does, no matter how small they may appear to be. As you reflect on them, they expand in your mind.

Express your gratitude each day in ways which are meaningful to both. It may be direct by your kind words of gratitude. Simple ways like “you are so good to me, I am happy I found you, you have made the difference in my life, you are the best thing that ever happened to me, you are always there for me, I love you and thank you” will melt your lover’s heart and motivate him or her to do more.

You may express your gratitude indirectly by your kind acts. Go out of your way to help your lover. Make all the sacrifices you can to help him or her improve his areas of weakness. You can’t force your lover to change but as you keep loving him or her, he or she gets motivated to improve upon himself or herself.

Send gifts often. Gifts are expressions of your love. It creates good will and dispels hurts. Let your gifts be regular and simple. Send what is meaningful to your lover. Be romantic in all you do. Give your time and attention as you share activities you enjoy. Put fun and excitement into your relationship.

Do you show gratitude to your lover?

It is easy to take your lover for granted but one important way to nurture your relationship is to show gratitude to your lover each day.Accept him or her whole heatedly no matter what and always thank him or her for everything he or she does such as cooking, cleaning, shopping, repairing, care of kids and time together. Let your partner know you are grateful for all he or she does. An expression of gratitude will lead to a more heartily behaviour of your love and, therefore, improve your relationship.

Gratitude allows celebration of the present and buffers against negative emotions. The more grateful you are, the stronger you relationship. If gratitude is so crucial to the health of your relationship, use some of the 86400 seconds you have each day to show your gratitude to your lover.Johannes Gaerthner says to live gratitude is to touch heaven. St Ignatius of Loyala sees lack of gratitude as the only real sin. Be grateful for your lover.