Marriage is a pretty big step for anyone. You are committing yourself to sharing your life with another person, come what may, and being faithful to that person for the rest of your life.

Keeping that commitment or a lifetime is not always going to be easy, so you need to do whatever you can to ensure that both parties are happy in the relationship and that takes a bit of effort. The first rule of marriage is simple; don’t take it for granted, here are ten more rules that will help ensure a long-lasting and happy marriage.

1. Never forget that you both have a choice

A marriage alone doesn’t bind you together forever; either one of you can decide to call it a day, at any time. When two people are together for a long time, it’s easy to forget that fact and assume that, whatever happens and whatever you do, your partner will always be there at your side. A happy marriage is one where both partners are grateful for the relationship and are prepared to work at it to ensure that it lasts.

2. Don’t stop talking

Talk about everything and never bottle up your emotions and feelings. Communication is vital in a marriage and you need to be able to talk about even the most awkward of topics. However busy you both get, make sure that there is always time set aside for talking. If you don’t, you’ll be surprised at how quickly that all important communication can break down.

3. Keep it fun

Never stop doing fun things together. Go out on dates, have regular vacations and days out together. You don’t have to stop going to things like music festivals and theme parks, just because you got married. Even if you have kids, you should get a baby sitter and go out do things together, just for the fun of it.

4. Face things together

One of the great things about a marriage should be that you never to have to face things alone, so, share your problems with each other and provide support for each other when it’s needed. As the saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved, so work on things together and help each other through difficult times.

5. Spoil each other

Don’t get into a rut when it comes to gifts and surprises. Any day is a good to treat your partner; it doesn’t have to be only at Christmas and on birthdays. You don’t need to shower each other with expensive gifts to show your love, breakfast in bed, or an unexpected box of chocolates will do just as well.

6. Retain your individuality

Marriage doesn’t mean that you merge into a single person; you should still have your own group of friends and your own hobbies and interests. You are never going to like all the same things, so don’t feel you have to compromise just to keep each other happy. You will both be happier if you can still pursue your own interests as well as do things together.

7. Don’t fight over the things that don’t matter

There are bound to be some little things that your partner does that you find annoying, but don’t make a big deal about things that really aren’t all that important. If you fight over every little thing, you will be constantly bickering, and that can’t possibly be a recipe for a happy marriage.

8. Be polite to each other

Arguments in a marriage are inevitable, but even then, don’t lose your temper and start swearing and saying hurtful things. It may sound a bit old-fashioned, but retaining a level of respect and courtesy in a marriage will go a long way towards keeping the relationship sound and happy.

9. Be best friends

A common thing that you hear people in unhappy marriages say is that they just don’t feel that they can talk their partner, and they are usually saying that to a friend. The honeymoon period doesn’t last for very long and, after the fireworks have died down, you need to develop and deep and understanding friendship. Your husband or wife should be the first person that you go to with your problems, not the last one to hear about them.

10. Always stay faithful

We are all only human and, even in a strong marriage, temptation is likely to cross our paths from time to time. If that does happen, recognise that it is probably any a temporary situation and not worth wrecking your marriage for. Although some people do get over infidelity in a marriage, for most, the marriage is never the same again after their partner, or they themselves, has cheated.

Stay happy!