LIFESTYLE: You don't owe your boyfriend sex - Counselor Adofoli

You are obligated to have sex with your husband or wife but not your boyfriend or girlfriend as people assume. For those who may counter-attack that you don't owe your girlfriend money either, before you do, I want to ask, are you giving her money for sex? If that is so then you two are into a business called prostitution and not a relationship that leads to marriage.

It’s so wrong for people to mistaken marriage before sex as a church’s or pastor’s or a religious thing. Then what that means is you can have sex with anyone who comes across including our family and relatives. Sex is only lawful and rightful between married couples. If your boyfriend cannot wait to get married to you before taking you to bed, that makes him wrong or a corrupt boyfriend. The bad news is that a wrong or corrupt boyfriend cannot make a right spouse.

He or she is corrupt because they refuse to do what is right. This life is not ours in the first place, God gave us life, HE has a purpose for you. "You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail" - Proverbs 19:21 (NLT).

It is HIS plan that you keep yourself for your spouse, it’s HIS plan you don’t have sex with people you are not married to, even if you are planning to marry them soon, so you won't have to worry about unfaithfulness, insecurity etc in your marriage.

Just as we all go to various schools to train for various jobs, we are still tested by way of examination just to be sure we are the right candidate for the job ahead. In the same way we need to put our various partners to this important test of sex. If he or she won't have sex with you, won't get it elsewhere and will learn how to exercise self-control over their desires or feeling, they can be the right candidate for marriage.

There is no guarantee your spouse won’t come across someone who is more beautiful, attractive, appealing or nicer than you, but once they have demonstrated such commitment during dating, they will stick with you during the marriage.

If the one you are dating threatens to leave because you refused to give them sex, it only shows what they came for. You are only a sex toy to them, without sex, they have no relationship with you.

You don't have to stoop that low just so you can keep them as a spouse. When you do that, you are not being you; who God created you to be. You can only become what God wants you to be if you will obey HIM and live as HE wants you to.

You really need to know your value, and know that you are more than sex and won't be attracted to someone who only sees you as a tool for sex. Such people don’t love you, no matter the rounds of sex you have with them. The one who truly love you sees you more valuable than sex and won't stop loving you even when you tell them you can't have sex with them because you are not married.

Don't be deceived that they want to have sex with you because they love you. To love does not mean you should do what is wrong. To love does not mean you should steal, to love doesn't mean you should disobey your Creator.

Let no one change you; bad company corrupts good morals, so know when to walk away from what is not good. That is what makes you wise. That is what keeps your head high with dignity and blessing from God. The worst feeling is crying for someone who doesn't value you, love you or even think about you.

In conclusion, when you learn to date faithfully, God your master will have these words for you ‘Well done, you good and faithful servant!’ said his master. ‘You have been faithful in managing small amounts, so I will put you in charge of large amounts. Come on in and share my happiness!’ - Matthew 25:21 (GNT).

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