John was someone I was interested in but when he proposed to me, I said no. He asked why. I said, “I don’t have any reason but I don’t feel like being in a relationship now.” He asked if someone treated me badly hence my decision to stay off relationship. I said, “I’ve had a bad breakup not too long ago but that’s not the reason. I think there’s so much to do on myself before I can decide to take a step into a new relationship.” He said, “Let me be the guy who held your hand and walked you into that new relationship.” I said, “Thank you but I don’t need a helping hand.”

He didn’t go away. He kept coming until one day I asked myself the question I should have asked myself long ago. I asked, “John is a nice guy so why don’t I like him?” The answer was simple; I didn’t know him enough. So I made it a point to study him and see if apart from being nice, there’s something else I could like about him. I got closer—closer each day until I concluded that he was the perfect guy for me. He had a job that made him financially secured. He had a place he called his home. He treated me well anytime I was around. One thing I loved about him; whenever I was around, he made me feel that I was the most important person in the room. He won’t touch his phone or stay absent-minded. He looked at me and that made me feel seen.

One day he asked me, “You still think I’m not the right person for you?” I said, “I believe you’re the right person for me but we haven’t had all the conversation we need to have. What’s the future for us when I say yes? I’m not young and this is not the time for me to fall in love recklessly. At least, I should need some assurance.” He said, “The future depends on you. I’m ready. If today, you want us to marry, I will take you straight to see your parents.” I laughed. “Marriage isn’t the only thing. There are other personal things to consider.” He said, “If you were a teacher, no one would have passed your exams. You’re very academical.” That also brought smiles to our lips.

I recalled he told me he had lived in America for seven years. One day I asked him, “America in seven years. What were you doing?” He said, “First I went to school. I got a job after school and after working for four years, I decided to come back home for good.” I asked, “You don’t have any plans to go there again?” He said, “I go there but I always return.” I asked, “If I told you we should settle in America, would you listen to me?” He answered, “I don’t mind if you want to live there but I love it here.”

One day, right in front of his house when he was seeing me off, I said, “Yes.” He asked, “Yes to what?” I answered, “Yes to your proposal. I would be your girlfriend.” We kissed. He said, “Why didn’t you say yes when we were in there?” I teased, “I needed this fresh air on the outside to be able to say yes. He was awesome but as time went on, he traveled a lot and when he traveled, it became difficult to reach him on the phone. You won’t get him until he calls you. Well, I grew used to that.

One day he traveled to Kumasi for business. The night before he went, I was with him. I don’t recall very clearly but it looks like I even spent the night at his end and saw him off in the morning. He called when he got to Kumasi and that was all. I didn’t hear from him again. At dawn, my phone beeped. It beeped again and again until I couldn’t ignore it. When I picked, I saw a lot of WhatsApp messages coming from a number I didn’t know. The first message was; “I’ve been reading the messages between you and John all night. Girl, you’re very stupid to think that John doesn’t have anyone.”

I replied; “Who is this and why are you texting me at this time of the night?” She sent me a photo of John sleeping naked in a bed and said, “I’m John’s girlfriend. Do you see him? He’s here with me sleeping but I decided to go through his phone and I saw your messages.” My heart. If my eyes were sleepy, they came back alive as if they didn’t know what sleep was about. I hit a migraine instantly. I said, “Give the phone to him let me talk to him.” She said, “Are you stupid? Don’t you see he’s sleeping? I hope he told you about his wife and kids in the US. He’s a married man. If he didn’t tell you, I’m telling you.”

I was dazed. I said, “Why are you doing this to me? Why are you telling me all these? If you know he’s married, why are you still with him?” She said, “I got to know about it after six months of dating him. I’ve accepted my fate and have decided to continue with him but I won’t allow another person around. So stay away.”

She blocked my line on Whatsapp after saying that. I started calling John’s phone. I called and called and called, he didn’t answer. I was left broken and thinking about where I went wrong. “What questions didn’t I ask him? How come I couldn’t know he was married? Or the lady is lying?” All night, I battled with my thoughts and conscience. The next morning I called him and his phone was off. It took three days for me to hear from him. When he called he said, “Sorry for everything.” I asked, “Is it true that you’re married?” He said, “I was going to tell you soon. I’m sorry.” I asked, “You were going to tell me? After everything? And then what? How could you be this wicked, John?”

I told him never to come closer to me. I said, “You met me at the right time. Thank your stars. If you did this to me three years ago, I swear you would have crawled on your belly for the rest of your life. But it’s not too late so don’t push me.”

I think he felt threatened so he left and never came back. A week after the incident, I called the girl who sent me the message. I said, “Thank you for telling me at the time you told me. We had done only four months so I still had a lot to keep.” She said, “Good you left. I’m with him because of money. I know his wife’s number and all her social media accounts so if he fools with me, I will just report him to the wife. Soon I’ll get what I want and leave.”

I wished her well and she also wished me well. Once in a while, we talk. I’d moved on but she continues with him. She still hasn’t gotten her pound of flesh from him so she keeps rolling with him.

—Sedinam