It is often said that most wives, particularly the extremely successful ones, create an enabling environment for mistresses to thrive and this is getting clearer with the growing concern of side chicks invading celebrity marriages lately.

Society projects two things that define a successful woman; earning your own money and securing a husband.

But what is often left untold, is how to manage the silent competition between your career and husband, particularly if you are the breadwinner.

Most female breadwinners or celebrities who set out to make their family’s income, have been found to feel less satisfied in their marriages, based on a survey by Working Mother Media.

And, as long as men still feel like they’re the ones who should be providing for the family, we may continue to witness the husbands of female breadwinners falling prey to ‘soft mistresses’, who make them feel like men.

Men who are economically dependent on their wives may have their masculinity threatened and having an affair is a way to re-establish this, even if it’s all done subconsciously.

Interestingly, wives contribute to this unknowingly when they fail to bask in their femininity or bolster their husband’s masculinity.

What most of these ‘overly self-reliant’ wives do not know is that femininity is associated with traits such as humility, sensitivity, compassion.

Unlike the façade of strength, femininity has become a powerful force capable of making men surrender.

Some men wished their wives knew these things

’We need to feel needed’

It is often said that men opt for side chicks because most times their wives do not make them feel needed.

Most of these successful wives, in a quest to solely handle their own business, drive men away and side chicks are mostly present during such times.

’Learn from side chicks we pick’

Earlier this year, social media went rampage when a Prophet encouraged women with unfaithful husbands to seek advice from their side chicks on maintaining them.

The preacher suggested in a viral video that ‘wise wives’ should seek advice on what their husband enjoys from ‘the other woman’ rather than confronting her.

But although he was crucified for such statements, perhaps what he meant was, wives should do a thorough retrospection or research on the ‘goodies’ these side chicks offer their husbands.

Why we practice the ‘wives are for rainy days; side chicks are for best days’ mentality

Most ‘cheating’ husbands share happy moments and resources with their mistresses, whereas their wives only get to scoop their “excess baggage”.

Ever wondered why that is mostly the case?

It is often said, the way men buy gifts show how they feel about their relationship and their act of spending more money on side chicks than wives, tells where their happiness lies.

The less ‘sexual and feminine’ a man thinks of his wife, the more he withdraws from little acts of romance like buying gifts and spending more money on her.

What wives can do to change the masculine/feminine polarity in their marriage

As you lean more into your femininity, your man will have the opportunity to step up into his masculinity and your dynamic will start shifting. It’s not impossible but much harder to do if you’ve been living in the opposite dynamic (where you are “the man”) for years.

Delegate more responsibilities to him

Most husbands want to protect and provide while most women still want to create a home, surrender, and be taken care of.

For instance, the ‘masculine man’ is in charge of the direction of the relationship but the ‘feminine woman’ is responsible for the quality and energy of that relationship.

The ‘masculine man’ builds the container and the ‘feminine woman’ fills it with wishes and desires, with fullness and excitement, with potent energy and flow.

Stop taking care of everything and everyone!

Women have this strange idea that the more things they do for their men, the more their men will appreciate and love them back.

In fact, it’s quite the opposite; “The more you do for him, the less attractive you seem to become. The more you are like his mother, the more distance it creates between the two of you.”

However, the more you’re setting him free, the more he will appreciate and be attracted to you.

EB/SARA