Dear GhanaWeb,

I am a 30-year-old woman, and my boyfriend is 33. We both earn good salaries, are well settled, and self-dependent.

We’ve been in a relationship for over seven years, yet we still cannot marry. For the past five years, I have tried to convince my father to allow us to marry, but he refuses to listen.

He doesn’t even want to discuss the matter. Whenever I bring it up, he shouts, and his anger escalates. He doesn’t want to hear my boyfriend’s name mentioned in his house.

My father and family insist that we belong to different social classes. They say I am from the “upper class” because my family is wealthy, while my boyfriend comes from a poor background.

We waited, hoping things would change, but my father kept repeating that if I marry my boyfriend, I should never return to his house or call him my father. He once told me that even if I waited 50 years, he would never approve of the marriage. My home no longer feels like home.

Everyone despises me for wanting to marry a man they consider “lower class.” Whenever I visit, nobody welcomes me, not even my sister, who used to be very close to me.

My mother and relatives call me selfish, accusing me of disregarding the family’s reputation.

When I met my boyfriend, he wasn’t working. Over the past seven years, he has built himself up and now earns about GH₵6,000 monthly. I earn more and am willing to support him, but my family insists he is not good enough for me.

They say I will never receive their support if I marry him. After years of trying, I have lost hope. I have endured depression and frustration because of this.

Now, I am considering a court marriage. I know no one from my family will attend, and it feels as though I am already dead to them for choosing my happiness. But I no longer care.

Why do these things still matter? Would it be right to go ahead with the court marriage and cut ties with my family for good? What should I do now?

FG/EB


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