Dear GhanaWeb,

My husband and I have been married for five years, and we have always enjoyed peace in our home.

People often say the first year of marriage can be tough, but I can honestly say that we didn't experience any of that.

Two years after we got married, we decided to start trying for kids, and I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

The experience was difficult. The pregnancy, the labour, the delivery, and the postpartum recovery, I was in the trenches throughout.

A year later, my husband suggested we try for another child. I told him there was no way I was going through that again, especially since I almost died during the last pregnancy.

He said he understood, and we both agreed that, if we ever felt strongly about having more children, we would consider adoption.

Then, last year, my husband, his mother, and a pregnant woman showed up at our home. My mother-in-law told me that since I had decided not to have any more children, my husband needed to try for a son and was expecting one with the woman.

I was devastated. I couldn’t bring myself to forgive him, even though he pleaded with me.

I focused my energy on my work and my daughter, moving into the empty wing of the house with her.

I was deeply depressed but couldn’t bring myself to leave the house entirely because we bought it together, and my mother advised me not to move out before deciding whether I wanted a legal divorce, as I didn’t want to lose my share of the investment.

So, my daughter and I stayed on our side and continued our lives, separate from the new woman.

He took over the school runs and most extracurricular activities to stay close to her, which I had no issue with since I couldn't bear to be in the same room with him for long.

Unfortunately, the new mother passed away during childbirth, leaving behind the newborn. Coincidentally, this happened during the same week I filed for divorce.

Subsequently, the deceased's family has refused to take in the baby, just as my soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law.

Now, they’ve come to ask me to take in the baby and raise him.

I firmly said no, I’m not raising that child because it’s not mine.

My husband is struggling as the primary caregiver and working.

He looks exhausted all the time and keeps changing nannies. He continues to beg me to reconsider the divorce, but if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t think I can ever love that child wholeheartedly.

I’m feeling depressed and don’t even know why. I feel tired of everything. It seems like nobody loves me, not even my own family. Extended family members on both sides have been calling me, begging, and subtly implying that I’m being too harsh, especially since there’s no longer a co-wife in the picture.

I’m just waiting for the legal divorce to go through so that I can sell my share of the house and leave the country with my daughter. I’m deeply hurt, and I’m unsure if I’m making the right decision. I need help and advice.

FG/EB


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