Dear GhanaWeb,

I am a married woman with four children. I was eager to settle down at the time, and my husband was the only man who seemed ready for marriage, so when he proposed, I agreed.

The truth is, I did not love him. He was a devoted churchgoer, and that was never the type of man I was drawn to.

I was already 31 when we met, and I felt my chances of meeting the kind of man I truly desired were fading. So, I gave him a chance. We dated for a year, and then he proposed marriage.

During that time, I was involved with another man. I had planned to end that relationship once I got married. However, after the wedding, I still struggled to love my husband enough to completely cut ties with the other man.

The early years of our marriage were difficult. I was not in love and behaved poorly, while my husband was determined to make the marriage work. He put in tremendous effort to hold our home together.

I never intended to have children outside my marriage. My husband is calm, reserved, and not particularly outgoing, but he is not unattractive, and I did not mind having children with him. Unfortunately, I became pregnant by the other man unexpectedly. I allowed my husband to believe the child was his. The same thing happened a second time, and then a third.

Eventually, I realized I could not continue living that way. I could not remain married while bringing another man’s children into my husband’s home for him to raise. I made a firm decision that our fourth child would be my husband’s. He is the biological father of only one of our four children, the youngest.

Over time, something changed in me. I grew to genuinely love and appreciate my husband. I ended the affair four years ago and have remained faithful since then. We have now been married for 16 years and celebrated our anniversary two months ago.

Our home is peaceful, and I cherish my husband, my children, and the life we have built together. However, this peace also brings fear. Our fourth child resembles my husband strongly, but the first three look very much like their biological father.

I live with constant anxiety that one day, something may prompt a DNA test, and the truth will come out. I am terrified that it could destroy my marriage and the stability of our home. This fear haunts me every single day.

What should I do now?

FG/EB


Meanwhile, watch GhanaWeb’s exposé on the 'dark side of Kayamata' and its devastating impact