Dear GhanaWeb,

I’m a 28-year-old woman struggling with anxiety disorder.

Growing up, my dad was very strict. It was always school and back home, no room to mingle with others.

I took the school bus every day, so I never got the chance to socialize or make friends.

Even in school, there were strict rules about how many friends you could have. My brother and I attended the same school, but we hardly spoke. At home, laughing out loud was a problem.

Whenever my sister and I laughed and heard our dad’s door open or his footsteps approaching, we would go completely silent.

If my brother went out to play football and came back, he would get whipped. We were all scared of him. We were much closer to our mum.

As I grew older, I started telling my dad about my dreams and what I wanted to become. But he would just laugh and say, “You talk too much.” That always made me feel small. Still, deep inside, I wanted to prove him wrong.

My anxiety started in high school. Thankfully, I had a good friend who helped me through it. I finally had someone to walk and talk with, I didn’t feel so alone. But in the past six years, my anxiety has worsened.

Now, I’m scared to leave the house. And when I do, I start fidgeting, shaking, sweating, and sometimes feel like I’m going to pass out. I’ve struggled to hold down a job because interviews terrify me.

The few I manage to attend never end in job offers. It’s not because I’m not smart, I know I am.

Strangely, once I actually start working, I’m fine. I become confident and focused. My few friends always tell me how intelligent I am, but they don’t know I suffer from anxiety.

I’ve tried running small businesses, but people often take advantage of me. I give them goods to sell, and they never pay me back.

Just recently, I had an interview. As I stood at the junction waiting for a trosky, I started sweating heavily, felt a headache coming on, and nearly threw up. I couldn’t go.

I keep remembering the things my dad said. Maybe he was right. Maybe I do talk too much. I’ve also been unlucky in love. My last relationship left me in the hospital, and again, I hear my dad’s voice saying, “I told you so.”

Even leaving my room is difficult. I usually wait until everyone’s out of the house before I step outside. The only person I feel comfortable around is my brother, but he’s busy with work and can’t always be there.

I can’t sleep. My mind is always racing. My family thinks I’m antisocial or just angry all the time because I stay indoors so much.

I’m tired of feeling like this. This anxiety is killing me slowly. I feel like a failure.

If there’s anyone out there who has dealt with anxiety and overcome it, please help me. What can I do to get better?

FG/EB

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