Dear GhanaWeb,

A few weeks ago, I discovered that my wife cheated on me six years ago.

Her sister disclosed this to me after visiting her to check on the delivery of her first child.

She confessed that six years ago, my wife had told her that she drunkenly slept with her best friend, and my wife was deeply sorry about it.

When her sister told me, I was with my son, and I immediately became fearful. After leaving her house, I went straight to get a paternity test done.

A week later, the result confirmed my worst fear: my son is not biologically mine. This revelation changed the way I looked at him. I no longer saw him as my son, but more like an acquaintance, now armed with the proof in hand.

That night, I confronted my wife while the child was asleep. She asked me who told me, and I simply told her it was none of her business.

Although it wouldn't take long for her to figure out it was her sister who told me, that's no longer my concern. I asked for a divorce, which is currently in process. She was devastated and swore nothing had happened since.

I held back from insulting her to avoid complicating the divorce process, though I didn't believe a word she said.

She blamed the alcohol instead of taking full responsibility. She later threatened to demand full custody of the child. In that moment, I was so enraged that I told her I didn’t want anything to do with something that isn’t mine.

A week has passed since she moved out to her parents’ house, and she hasn’t contacted me. I’ve spoken to my parents, and my dad told me I did the right thing, that I shouldn’t raise a child that’s not mine. I’m still hurting, and I’ve been seeing a therapist three times a week.

My therapist told me that I’ve already taken the first step, which is to leave behind the source of my pain. It still hurts to know that my family is no longer what I thought it was.

As for why my sister-in-law told me, she said it was because she felt guilty seeing me so happy with my son, knowing he might not be mine.

Now, I feel a deep resentment toward my wife and mixed feelings of pain for the child. My therapist has advised that I distance myself from the child, as difficult as it may be, and accept that the child is no longer my responsibility.

However, I feel like the therapist isn't helping much. Honestly, I still love my wife, and I can’t fully accept that we’re getting a divorce. She hurt me, and while I’ve never cheated on her, I feel she should never have done that.

Should I forgive her and let her return? How should I handle this situation? Has anyone else gone through something like this, and how did you recover?


FG/EB


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