Dear GhanaWeb,

I need to get something off my chest, something I’ve carried for years. I once visited a priest and used a charm to make a man love me. That man is now my husband. A year after using the charm, we got married.

By the grace of God, we have four children, though sadly, all of them have some health challenges.

It was never my intention to manipulate anyone. I was genuinely in love with him, but he wasn’t focused. He was handsome and charming, and women constantly threw themselves at him. Because of this, he became complacent, he didn’t work, and women often sponsored his lifestyle.

I thought I could help him grow into the man I saw in him: a responsible husband and father.

The charm worked. He listened to me, got a job, pursued a master's degree, and now we are financially stable. We have a home, a car, and on the surface, a perfect life. He is a good man, kind, responsible, and obedient. We go to church, raise our children, and live quietly.

But something inside me is unsettled. He agrees with everything I say. He never argues, never cheats, never asserts himself. Even in our intimate life, I have to initiate everything. It has become dull. I crave spontaneity, passion, disagreement, even healthy conflict.

I want a partner, not a follower. I feel like I run the home alone: the kids, decisions, everything. It’s draining. I don’t want to control everything anymore.

In my frustration, I’ve made mistakes. I’ve cheated, more than once, hoping to feel something I don’t get at home. And now, I don’t even want to be near him. I want to be free, but I feel trapped, not because of love, but because of guilt and fear. Part of me wonders if the charm is still working, or if he is just genuinely devoted. I don’t know.

The health challenges of our children, two with cerebral palsy, one with mild symptoms, and the youngest who still can’t speak properly, weigh heavily on me.
I sometimes fear it’s karma for what I did, and that’s partly why I haven’t left him. Our children are improving, and I’m grateful for that, but I’m overwhelmed.
I don’t want to reverse everything. I’m scared it might destroy the life we’ve built or harm the children. I just want balance. I want my husband to take initiative, to lead, to be a partner with his own will and ideas. I need help.

Is there a way to modify a charm, to adjust its effects without undoing everything?

I’m exhausted. Money can’t fix this. I just want peace and a more natural relationship. Please, if anyone out there has knowledge or experience with such things, help me. I want to do what’s right, for my family and myself.

FG/EB