Dear GhanaWeb,

Earlier today, I did something I never imagined I would do, even though deep down I know this isn’t the first time I’ve crossed a line.

I poured boiling water on my boyfriend.

His face and body turned red instantly, and before he rushed to the hospital, blisters had already started forming on his skin.

The look on his face keeps replaying in my mind, shock, pain, and disappointment all at once.
Since he left, he hasn’t come back. I’m still at his place, sitting here alone, waiting and hoping he walks through the door.

I’ve called and texted countless times, but he isn’t responding. The only thing he told me was to leave before he returns home.

I have struggled with anger for as long as I can remember. It’s something I’ve always promised to work on, but whenever I get angry, it’s like I completely lose control. In those moments, I don’t think; I just act.

And when everything settles, I’m left with deep regret and shame.

This man has endured so much from me. We’ve been together for two years, now in our third, and he has stayed through things most people would have walked away from long ago.

I love him, and I know he loves me too, but I don’t understand why I keep hurting the person I care about the most.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been violent. I’ve poured hot oil on him before. I’ve tried to stab him during an argument. I’ve destroyed his belongings, his TV, phone, and laptop, out of pure anger. Each time, he forgave me and gave me another chance.

But today, I saw something in his eyes that I’ve never seen before. It felt final.

He told me he’s done, that he wants nothing more to do with me. He asked me to leave his place, never call or text him again, and never come near him.
I’m 31 years old. I’m not a child. I should have control over my emotions by now.

I’ve lost good men in the past because of this same issue, but he stayed. He was patient. He believed in me. He even wanted us to get married.

I can’t stop thinking about him. I’m worried about his condition and what he’s going through right now. And I’m scared that I’ve finally pushed him beyond his limit.

I keep telling myself that this time will be different, that I will truly change, that I will get help and become a better person. But I’ve said that before, and I failed.

Now I’m sitting here alone, realizing that I may have destroyed the best relationship I ever had with my own hands.

Do I deserve another chance from him?


FG/EB


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