Dear GhanaWeb,

My husband and I had a misunderstanding over a woman I suspected he was dating or entertaining too much.

It turned out my suspicions were not true. The few times I saw them together were just coincidences.

The lady was helping his boss secure some items, and the boss often sent my husband to her. He didn’t communicate this to me, so I read meanings into the situation and reacted based on my assumptions.

The argument that followed became serious. He got angry, and so did I. We said very hurtful things to each other. I swore to leave the marriage and have nothing to do with him again.

In return, he cursed our marriage. He said it would continue over his dead body. He even said he regretted getting me pregnant and letting my “nasty womb” have his children.

I packed some of my things and left the house temporarily because we were on the verge of a physical fight, and I didn’t want things to escalate.

After some weeks, we calmed down. We involved elders. I apologized and went back home.

We had two children. Seven days after I returned, our second child slept and didn’t wake up. Nobody knows what happened till today. She was only two years old.

We were devastated. As we tried to process her death, our first and only other child also passed away exactly seven days later, the same way: he slept and never woke up.

That was when our parents began saying it was a result of the things we had said during the argument. The pain was unbearable.

So now, the divorce we avoided when I moved out is finally happening. And I keep wishing I had never apologized or gone back, because what’s the essence of reconciliation when we are divorcing anyway, when neither of us can forgive ourselves for behaving in a way that feels like it cost us our two precious angels?

We wouldn’t be here if my husband had communicated properly and if I hadn’t allowed jealousy to take over. I loved him, and he has never been a cheat, so I panicked when I thought he was changing.

I regret my actions deeply. I’m sure my husband, wherever he is now, also regrets his own because we are both in our late 40s, and we struggled for five years before having those children.

Could it be that we lost our children because of the things we said to each other? Should we proceed with the divorce?

I need your suggestions.

FG/EB

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