Is the Ghanaian woman independent?

A GNA feature by Hannah Asomaning

Accra April 29 , GNA - "Akosua Mansah realized she was pregnant and for a moment she thought there was no meaning to life.

She has not been promiscuous "but just one affair with Kwesi and this is the result," she said loudly to herself.

A myriad of thought went through her mind, what would happen to her career as an Accountant? She has to halt her career to do childcare, her parents would be very disappointed in her, as a first born child she is supposed to be a role model for her siblings. She may be an object of ridicule by her colleagues in the office, home, church and society at large.

The Ghanaian society frowns on a woman who gets pregnant when she has not been customarily married. She could combine pregnancy with her career, without being ridiculed by society but again she thought, every finger would point at her as immoral.

She broke down in tears but she has to find a solution to her problem, either she aborts the pregnancy and continues with her job or to carry it and leave her job.

Intense psychological, emotional and financial pressure or the fear of social consequences could compel women to abandon their right to resist unwanted sexual advances.

Women risks getting hurt physically, emotionally and psychologically when they enter into a relationship, as they are not empowered to deal with the associated problems.

If Akos were independent there would be no need worrying, but here she was a 24 years old lady who had just started working. She needed to be independent to get into such a situation, even though, her father had rented a room for her she still needed some kind of support from her parents, as she was not married. "It is simply not possible for me to give birth at this time, I am not independent," Akos wailed.

However, the stigma women face plunge them into resigned silence that hinders them from getting help and hide the scope of the problem. A woman is said to be independent when she has been well educated and has established herself well to be able to deal with all challenges in her life.

Apart from education and wealth, a woman needs a companion as much as a man needs one. In Africa it is a pride for a woman to marry and give birth else she is seen as a "useless" woman.

This culture and other cultural practices demand that a woman should marry at a certain age and must give birth.

However a woman is ridiculed in the society if she is not married and she gets pregnant. She is seen as an immoral person. The man, on the other hand, does not suffer any social ridicule.

A woman who has made it in life and is not married becomes society's object of gossip.

It is estimated that for two out of every 10 women, their first experience of sexual intercourse was by force. Two out of every five women are harassed or coerced when they refuse their partners sex and three out of every 10 women are forced by their male partners to have sex sometimes. The society, however, does not talk about this it is simply termed as being submissive.

If a woman advocates her rights she is said to have a very bad character.

She is often cautioned to be quiet and humble or would not get a "good husband, the priority in her life".

Most of the girls on the street are not there because they want to be there, they are there because they are dependent on society. It is not for the fun of it that some girls are promiscuous, it may be because these girls have some expected needs which they cannot meet on their own and need someone to help them meet their expectations. Most men would want to take advantage of girls or women sexually before helping them to meet their needs.

Transactional sex is often motivated by economic need. In such circumstances, the woman, who is not strong willed, will see it as an only option and give in, damning the consequences. A story is told of a lady who kept herself a virgin because she wanted to marry being a virgin. She met a man who was ready to wait till marriage before having sex with her.

The man bought all the things needed for the marriage ceremony, about three weeks to the time of the ceremony. He persuaded the lady to have sex with her.

However, the marriage did not come on as expected. What could this lady do now that her virginity was broken? She could get pregnant, she could contract HIV and those who do not know her story would think she has been immoral.

There is no law in the country that protects a woman from these acts and even those that deal with such acts are narrowed to rape cases. On the other hand, there are discriminatory laws and practices against women in relationships, marriages and divorce.

In Ghana the Women and Juvenile Unit of the Police was set up to deal with issues affecting women. However there are a lot of problems that women face, which is not being solved.

The celebration of the International Women's Day is meant to help women talk about their problems on a larger platform, yet there is the notion that a woman needs the presence of a man in her life to make her a "proper" and virtuous woman.

This writer wants to state that the laws of this land favour men. A woman gets married, struggles with the husband for riches and should there be divorce the woman suffers the most.

Are women empowered? Are they protected from harmful men? Are they independent? There may be a few women who exploit men for their riches. However, men exploit the majority of women.

Women need to have a positive mindset and values which would help them to face different life challenges and cope with adversities 29 April 05