The Bullying Stops Now!

Becoming Better Persons and Better Students

By Joe Kingsley Eyiah, OCT, Brookview Middle School, Toronto

Students are back to school after the yuletide holidays and the students at Brookview Middle School have a pledge they recite every morning before they begin classes. The pledge goes like this: Everyday, I come to school to save my life by working hard to be better person and a better student”
To me, my school pledge became more fulfilling when about 9,000 students from the Toronto District School Board (grades 2 to 8 “anti-bullying” students) pledged ‘to make it better’ at Ricoh Coliseum in Toronto on Wednesday, December 14, this year! The Wednesday Coliseum gathering of students (the bullied and bullies as well as those who have never been either) billed as the “Ultimate Class Trip” organized by TDSB is described as the “largest anti-bullying event in Toronto history.”
Obviously, we expect students to become better persons in life starting from school where they meet and work with teachers and other students. Bullying does not make students better persons anywhere! No wonder, the TDSB director, Chris Spence appealed to students during the “Ultimate Class Trip” event to help in creating ‘a culture of kindness’ in our schools. I will add in our homes and community too! For, bullying also takes place in many homes and public places among even siblings and friends outside the school system.
In Ghana, bullying is at its worse in the boarding schools, specially, in the Senior High Schools. New students to these boarding schools suffer unnecessary harassment from some mean senior students!

The Menace of Bullying:
Bullying is considered by experts as the ways in which boys and girls act out their aggression. It usually occurs amongst younger teens and pre-teens and usually begins to fade by the later teen years. Research has shown that later primary and middle school years are the crucial years to be aware of bullying! Bullying is harmful and can lead to depression, body image issues, and low self-esteem. Both girls and boys can bully in the form of racist, sexist or homophobic remarks.
There had been situations where the bullied had taken lives in solitary. The dangers associated with bullying are frightening and ways and means must be sought to prevent them from happening to our students both at school and at home.

Parents expect schools to provide an environment that is emotionally and physically safe for our children. As parents, we normally feel terrified and enraged about any kind of threat to our children’s well being, especially in a place where they have to be.

According to psychologist and bullying expert Evelyn Field, bullies and targets of bullies often have undeveloped assertive communication skills. Assertive communication is the open expression of your needs, desires, thoughts and feelings. It involves speaking up for your own needs while also respecting the needs of others.

It is advised that boys and girls who are being bullied stand up to their bullies by be confident and calm in saying NO when and where necessary. They should also promptly report all acts of aggression towards them to adults. The best they can also do is not to make themselves available to the bullies.
To the bullies, I say, you can make it better! You can find a better way of expressing your needs, desires, thoughts and feelings than acting cowardly by bullying your friends and other students. Respect for others must guide all your actions!



Advice to Parents:
When possible, try to notice problems when they are small. Pay attention to changes in your child’s behaviour. Encourage children to tell you about what happens at school. Listen calmly without lecturing. Volunteer even a couple of hours a week in the classroom or school yard so that you can both help out and stay aware of potential problems at school. If your child has a bullying problem at school, here are seven practical People Safety solutions that can help parents to be effective in taking charge.
All said and done, we, as adults must help our students ‘to make it better.’ The bullying must stop now. Together let’s make 2012 a better year and bullying-free!