Say It Loud


2018-09-12 06:37:39

I used to be the United Nations of paddieshood. Moi attracts people of all races and creed. But for five years or so now that number has dwindled exponentially for no reason. My sil paddies who have vanished into thin air or shunned me for life are:

1. ODB

2. Kofi Ellison (even though he recently did ask if I dey on sil)

3. Professor Azar (was mad at me for taking Akans to the cleaners)

4. Kasa Kasalawo Balawo Linda Barima, the so-called prophet of kwaemufuo

5. Sweet (chased away from my side by Django. Sweet nearly got married)

6. Julia Oba Sima Anderson (she cannot sleep without hearing my velvet voice. Mese, ewiase paa nie.

7. Naa Dakoa, without much ado she simply vanished and with it our neighbourly love.

8. Lady Awat (she used to call my Italian beauty whilst moi too will call her until her jolos African doctor gave moi a stern warning never to call her again.

9. Sheik Abu and Mojo, once my two favourite paddies vying to publish my tell-all stories are now shying away from coming anywhere near moi.

10. And last but not least, my sailor turned-borga paddies in Europe and North America have stopped taking my calls.

Amanfuo, I go die alone, that much moi knows and be buried without loved ones around. My life is a complicated one. White cops used to slap across the face and mouth to shut me up. As a kid growing up, adults tried unsuccessfully to strangle handsome tall moi, not that I be bad boy oh, but because moi is better than their midget kids and loved by most.

Mr. Bastard used to laugh at my every joke, until one day when moi told him to try and prolong his teeny-weeny kawula. The guy started calling moi unsavoury names. He even mentioned that I have bipolar and a split personality. I wept for one week straight. Our relationship soured from that day on. He teamed up with one asomasi and invited moi to London during their Anlo festival to have me killed. But I gave them the all-too familiar well-dodge. Even Eddie, the Austrian murderer who escaped in Lagos en route to face the music for killing his two white wives in Austria employed some jagoda boys to kill me by trying to woo moi over. Krobo whores in Abidjan were once jubilant at news of my passing. Boy, were they disappointed to see moi in flesh in 1986?

[This is an authentic posting from JW (Registered User)]

[This is an authentic posting from JW (Registered User)]
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09-12 06:37