Dear GhanaWeb: I’m currently dating eight men because I want a husband

Dear GhanaWeb, I’m a woman in my early 30s, and right now, I’m seriously dating about eight men. There are also a few other men I’m talking to casually. I know what you’re probably thinking: Why would one woman date so many men at the same time? Honestly, I have my reasons. Men have hurt me badly in the past. I’ve sacrificed so much for relationships: my time, money, emotions and even my body. I’ve gone through breakups, wasted years on men who eventually left, and made decisions I still think about today. I don't want to repeat that cycle. I feel like I'm ready for marriage now, and I’m scared of putting all my hopes into one man only for the relationship to end after two or three years. So I came up with a strategy. I’m keeping several serious options open, especially men who are responsible, successful and seem capable of settling down. My thinking is that if one relationship doesn't work, I won't have to start from zero again. I don't want to wake up one day and realise that I've spent my entire 30s waiting for one man who never intended to marry me. The problem is that managing all these relationships is becoming exhausting. Everyone wants my attention. One person wants me to visit him, another wants to see me, another wants to talk on the phone, and I’m constantly trying to make sure nobody feels neglected or suspects that there are other men. Sometimes I feel like I'm living several different lives at once and the truth is, I’m tired. New men still enter the picture almost every day, and sometimes I honestly don't even know where my heart belongs. Ironically, the man I genuinely have the strongest feelings for is probably the least serious about me. He mostly seems interested in intimacy, while some of the other men are more financially stable and appear more marriage-minded. I recently became pregnant by one of the men and ended the pregnancy without telling the others. I told myself I had to handle it quietly because I had heard that if a woman ever has to terminate a pregnancy for a man, he may never want to marry her. Now I’m beginning to question everything. I’m dating so many men because I want to secure my future, but instead of feeling secure, I’m becoming more confused and emotionally exhausted. I don't know if I'm making smart choices or simply running away from my fear of being alone and getting older. Am I really increasing my chances of finding a husband? Am I really doing the right thing by having all these men in my life? What do I do now? FG/EB Osebo the Zaraman opens up on life, fashion and controversies Source: www.ghanaweb.com
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