Dear GhanaWeb: I agreed to let another man get my wife pregnant

Dear GhanaWeb, My wife and I have been married for nine years. We got married when I was 29, and she was 25. We were young, happy and successful, and all we wanted was to have two children and build our family together. But after several months of trying without success, we started getting worried. In early 2018, I went for tests and was diagnosed with a low sperm count. That diagnosis broke something inside me. I was put on medication and continued treatment for almost two years, hoping things would improve. Unfortunately, my wife still didn't get pregnant. At some point, I even started wondering if maybe she was the problem. But she wasn't. I love my wife deeply, and I never imagined a situation where I would willingly allow another man to sleep with her. I could never have imagined sharing my wife with another man. But last year, after years of disappointment, we made what I now feel was a terrible decision. My wife suggested that we allow another man to get her pregnant. At first, I strongly disagreed. I asked her who the man would be, and she said she didn't know. She said if I agreed, we could find someone. Eventually, I convinced myself that perhaps it was the only way we could have the child we both wanted, so I agreed. I wanted to find someone myself, but my wife insisted that she should be the one to choose the man. She said it was her body and she needed to be comfortable with whoever she would be intimate with. Eventually, she brought home a younger, athletic gentleman. They slept together, and she became pregnant. She is still pregnant, and the child she's carrying is his, not mine. I've tried to accept it, but the truth hurts me every single day. Sometimes I feel like I failed as a husband and as a man. I wish I had been the one who got my wife pregnant. I even suggested that we try IUI or IVF, but my wife refused. She said she didn't want us spending money on those options and that she preferred the natural way. We discussed it several times, and her answer never changed. Now, something has happened that I never expected. The man who got my wife pregnant says he wants to become part of our family. He wants to move into our house so he can see his child every day. He says he also wants to help us around the house whenever necessary. The worst part is that my wife supports the idea. She is actually the one who told me about his proposal. I don't want this anymore. I agreed to the arrangement because I wanted us to have a child. I never agreed to bring another man into my marriage and watch him live under the same roof with my wife and our child. I love my wife, and I don't want to lose my marriage. But I also don't know how much more of this I can take. Would you allow the biological father to move into your home, or would you put an end to the arrangement before the baby is born? What do I do now? FG/EB OSEBO THE ZARAMAN BARES IT ALL Source: www.ghanaweb.com
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