Feature Article of Saturday, 8 October 2011

Columnist: Sakyi, Kwesi Atta

Poem: Netiquette On Ghanaweb, An Ode And Pun

By Kwesi Atta Sakyi

Where many seasoned writers are bled
And many pseudo-writers are bred
Are they all seeking their bread?

Where you go to hold your breath
Encountered nasty critics and you sped?
In the butchery of Ghanaweb, none is spared

Where many articles are misread
Where most readers are misled
Half truths, falsehoods and fabrications are fed

The miscreants sit back with glee
While unpleased fans flee
Only thick-skinned golfers tee

Where faint-hearted columnists dread
Diasporeans are linked in on the web
With homestayers who never cared

Where teeming ruthless critics roost
Is their criticism a ruse?
Hardly have they a book cover blurb
Yet, vociferous vituperations galore they are heard
I suggest their pointless criticisms be on the curb
And academic decorum and decency upheld

Where I’ll summon the internet netiquette police on the web
To round up riff raffs on the kerb
Clearly and unambiguously they are heard
My plaintive pleas to that herd makes me red
I wish I had a cure and a herb
To eschew tribal diatribe and rancor shed
Are these fans of bickering Croats or Serbs?
Hope they have heard or read
Hope they are nerds
To unravel this parody and satire
A pep-talk on the curt
To Ghanaweb if they are wed,
To keep inviolate sacred vows said and read

If they go to Sind, should they sin or they sinned?
If they see a Sikh, do they get sick or they sicked?
If they are friends with Singh, do they sing or they singed?
Better not to wear a loud tie or sing out of tune on the web
For unpleasant verbiage and verbs
They get cursed

By Kwesi Atta Sakyi