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Opinions of Thursday, 21 April 2016

Columnist: Patricia Asiedua Akuffo

Inside Asiedua’s chest: Pregnant for my sister’s husband Pt.1

My name is Sel and it is my wish that this story was a dream or a movie but it isn’t.

My big sister's husband, Jonny and I have been having an affair behind my sister's back for two years now. I am carrying his child, something I am not proud of but have to live with for the rest of my life.

My sister, Reena came back from the States with Jonny for their wedding and went back to the US. After about six months, I joined them to further my education.

Jonny, also a Ghanaian has been living in the States for many years. He is a very attractive man. He has these brown eyes and dark eyebrows that make women weak at the knees. His sturdy and muscular physique would make any woman fall for him any time, any day. I did not like him in the beginning as I thought he would be a player who would hurt my sister.

Jonny and I got along so well when I went to live with them. I called him uncle and he was so nice to me. I saw in him the big brother that my sister and I never had. I talked to him more than I talked to my sister. I told him about problems that I encounted at school, grocery shops and even stuff about me and my boyfriend.

Reena my sister really loved seeing us talk and play around every time because I told her I had some reservations about him when they came to Ghana. For some reason, I simply couldn't smile or talk to him. And Reena thought it was going to be a problem as they were going to get married so she tried her best to get Jonny and I, to get along. And of course, my thought about her husband to be was very important to her. And that was one thing I adore about my sister.

Growing up, it was just us and our parents so Reena and I are not just sisters, we are friends as well. Despite the two years age gap, she factored my opinion in almost every decision she ever made in life. She got my back each time I got myself into trouble. Covering up for each other was like the easiest thing to do when we were growing up.

I was the first to know about her relationship with Jonny when they began courting. I was also the first at home to know that Jonny had proposed. and she did not think twice when I said I wanted to go live with her and further my education, although my mother was against it. She secured admission for me in a University in the State where they live.

For over a year, we lived very harmoniously until Reena travelled to Ghana to visit our parents, leaving me and her husband there. That was when it all started. He made advances at me right from the day Reena left.

Initially, my thought was that they were just friendly gestures. We walked hand –in-hand every time so when he put his hand around my waist to feed me with some ice cream we had gone to buy, I thought it was one of those things. But the situation got murkier when he tried to lick some ice cream on my lips with his tongue.

I drew back and looked at him with shock. He quickly pulled out a tissue and handed it over to me. I looked at him in utter shock as I wiped it off and asked,

“What was that for?”

“Come on, I was just trying to help, I hope you don’t take it too personal,” replied Jonny. “This should be the last time you try this. Reena will hear about it if you try it again,” I warned him and we walked back home.

Shameful Jonny walked into his bedroom quietly and did not come out until the following day.

Regret washed over him like long slow waves on a shallow beach when he called me outside the next day to apologise to me. He begged me not to tell my sister about what happened. Not long after, I moved out to crash at a friend's house. I phoned Reena to tell her I was going on a countryside adventure with my friend so she won't get suspicious.

I moved back to the house after she returned from Ghana. But not even her presence could stop Jonny from making the advances- he winked at me at the least chance he got. I wore a frown each time he was around and hardly talked to him. I also spent very little time at home.

Interestingly, Reena had noticed the changes. She sat me down one day and asked if everything was okay with me. “Hmm! If only you knew what your husband did,” I thought.

I told her not to worry and that everything was fine with me and knowing very well that I was lying to her, I changed the topic and asked her about her trip to Ghana. I asked her about some of my friends in Ghana and managed to shift the conversation away from me.

I was tempted on several occasions to tell Reena about her husband’s conduct but I thought she would not believe me. And the fear that it was going to ruin her marriage was my biggest worry. I decided to tell my mother about it one day but I thought she would condemn me as usual and make it look like I threw myself at the man.

Did you just suggest that I should have told my boyfriend?

Well, I considered that but it wasn’t like we were getting along well…He lived in Ghana and I had realised we could not bond as we did when I was in Ghana.

Long distance relationship is sure not for everybody! We fought like a million times over unnecessary issues. And it got worse by the day. So at some point, I felt it wasn’t worth my time and emotions so I called for a breakup.

Reena and Jonny did not know about the breakup but it was as if someone had told Jonny to intensify the pressure because I was single. He sent text messages to compliment me each time I dressed up for school, drove to pick me up after school and offered to even drop me off at school sometimes. And because I did not want Reena to get the sense that I was avoiding her husband, I accepted the offers on certain occasions.

I tried as much as I could to avoid Jonny but something funny was happening to me. I fantasized about him. It's a shame, I know but it was only human for me to do that.

Reena began a night shift at work soon after she got back from Ghana. She left home at 5:00pm each day and came back home around 4:30am the next day. Her new shift compounded my problem. I had to stop watching my late night programmes in the living room to avoid any form of contact with Jonny.

But he would knock on my door and ask a hundred questions in a minute "Can I lock the doors? Can you borrow me your phone charger? Can I off the kitchen light?" Ridiculous! Isn't it?

One night he knocked on my door and said can you please help me light the stove? Really? At 11:30pm?

Yes, 11:00pm and only God knows what he wanted to cook. I helped him with it anyway. On one rainy night, as I lay on my bed and read a novel, I got a message from Jonny.

"I know you aren't sleeping. Can we talk?" the message read. I ignored the message and kept on reading. But I thought about the thousand things I wanted to say to Jonny and decided to call him out for a talk. Guess what? Jonny was standing right at my door when I opened it.

We sat on a sofa in the living room to talk. "I know I have been very silly but...uhm...I want to ask you one question, your answer will determine where we go from here,” he said looking uncomfortable and squirmed in his seat. He said "do you have any feelings for me? Just be sincere and tell me how you feel. If you say no, I will cease bothering you."

I stared at him without a word. Honestly, I did not know what to say. A part of me wanted to say yes but he was my sister's husband for crying out loud! Jonny moved closer to me and said “I know it’s crazy to say this but I can’t take it anymore…I’m deeply in love with you. I don’t know how you feel but I just wanted you to know.

“And Reena?” I interrupted him. “Sel, I care so much about your sister, but…” he trailed off.

“…You love me. So what would you do if I said I felt same about you?, I quizzed.

Emotional pain flowed out of his every pore as he spoke and I could feel it and I could no longer think straight.

I stared at him but he couldn’t look straight into my eyes. I knew where this was heading. I wanted to pull away before I lost myself but I could not seem to do that easily…and before I knew it, we had locked lips and tongues. We ended up in my room, had sex and slept off. And that was the beginning of something.

But you might have to wait for the second part of this story to know if that ‘something’ was good or bad. Trust me you don’t want to miss it.

I believe many people can learn from your experiences. If you have an experience – good or bad - to share, kindly send a mail to patricia.akuffo@myjoyonline.com or akosuaasiedua15@yhoo.co.uk.

You can alternatively DM asiedua_ on twitter and Instagram