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LifeStyle of Monday, 21 February 2022


If your sex life is stale, it's probably missing this key ingredient

A file photo of happy couples A file photo of happy couples

Relationships get boring after a period of time and couples struggle to keep the flame that's losing its spark burning.

When this happens, it leads to petty quarrels and finding faults where there is none. The worst-case scenario is when the couples cheat on each other.

It's just how the situation will be if couples aren't willing to take it a step further to spice their love life with some crazy ideas.

All hope isn’t lost, the spark is only hidden in other things and you will need to discover it together as a couple by using communication or other means.

Discovery leads to recovery and then a happy life.

In some points taken from, couples can learn a thing or two to rekindle their love.

Have a faux affair (With your partner!)

Plan a date with your partner, and act like you’re meeting up with your lover, while you both (pretend to) leave your partners at home. (Use your imagination!) According to intimacy expert and certified Ayurvedic educator Coltrane Lord, part of the reason why couples cheat (which we're not suggesting you do IRL) is to feel more sexually uninhibited, simply because it’s taboo—so who knows where a faux affair can lead you. Even prepping for it may make you hot with anticipation.

Switch locations

“Have sex on the kitchen counter. Get it on in the hallway. Do it on the couch or in your bedroom closet,” says Morris. “It doesn’t matter where, just pick a place that isn’t your usual spot.” According to Morris, the new smells, sounds, lighting and textures will help keep your sex life on its toes.

Test new positions

“A new position isn’t always comfortable, but often you’re defying circumstances…and sometimes gravity!” says sexologist and CEO of Dame Products Alexandra Fine. Try standing up—you’ll touch places you don’t usually have access to, she says. Or how about Morse’s simple but super effective trick: “Put a pillow under your butt,” she says. The angle helps with deeper penetration.

Try a couples' vibrator

Adding a sex toy to the mix is kind of like adding a third party, but without the emotional attachment. From vibrating, to pulsing, to penetrating, sex expert and sex tech entrepreneur Dominnique Karetsos says to research toys as if they were beauty products: “Look for premium quality, body-safe, and even gender-neutral toys,” she says. Dame’s Fin and Mystery Vibe’s Crescendo are both good options.

Brainstorm a list of fantasies

“Create a bucket list of no-stress, exciting ideas to try together," says Morris. If you come up with something that both parties aren’t into, put it on a ‘maybe’ list, and revisit it later, she suggests. Not only is making a list together fun, simply talking about desires can keep things hot. “Communication allows you to fantasize consensually so that you can focus on pleasure in the bedroom with no hesitation,” says Fine.

Send a provocative text

Sexting is a fun, playful way to let your partner know they are on your mind. If you’re not sure where to begin, Dr. Lanae St. John, board-certified sexologist, and author has an easy place to start: (just fill in the blanks), she says: “I want you to __ my __ slowly while you _ your __.” This is your chance to get creative.