Letter From The President: Frequent flyer troubles

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents

A little over a week ago I nearly died whiles doing one of the things I enjoy most ? traveling. I was on very important journey, fully-sanctioned by the state: I was going to the Sudan for my fellow African leaders to pat me on the back for not being like Jerry Boom. These days getting patted on the back is known as ?peer review?, you know.

Well, I didn?t have a plane of my own to take me to the Khartoum peer review. Since there is so much madness in Sudan, there are hardly any commercial flights into that country and so I couldn?t travel first class on BA as I usually do. One of the most flamboyant leaders on the continents, Libya?s Gaddafi had pity on me and decided to lend me an aircraft. After profusely thanking him for the offer, I boarded the plane with my entourage, which, as usual was very unnecessarily large.