I hereby declare God almighty’s innocent now | Opinions 2018-10-30
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Opinions of Tuesday, 30 October 2018

Columnist: Nana Kwaku-Jr

I hereby declare God almighty’s innocent now

Indeed, it’s utterly apparent that most Christians, if not all, including myself, had at all times or most times or a few times misinterpreted 1 Thessalonians 5:18, when it stated, “In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

Owing to this unfortunate misinterpretations, Proverbs 3:5, which admonishes, “To trust in the Lord with all your hearts and lean not on your own understanding,” comes in handy to serve as panacea to remedy these misinterpretations.

My long held argument: I had always contended that the Holy Bible just like most national Constitutions, especially Ghana’s 1992 Constitution is paradoxical but not illogical, suggesting that there are numerous bible verses that are inconsistent that counters the other. Therefore, the Holy Bible needs to be reviewed and redacted. This is a contention my friends from the University, Seyii and Tetteh seconds and dissents respectively. Well, it’s true the bible couldn’t be reviewed and redacted now, primarily because the amalgamation of these verses simply represents the recordings of happenings at the time.

Nonetheless, with the paradoxical issue broached, it’s equally apparent that all the Bible verses (both new and old testaments combined) may not apply to your current situation and/or happenings in life, but perhaps, a few. Hence, it’s only salient and prudent a religious ritual to pick, choose and pray with bible verses that fit your situation(s), while you endeavour to seek further and better interpretation(s) from a ‘true’ Man-of-God or Pastor for those you might not comprehend as Proverbs 3:5 admonishes; just as citizens could also visit to engage the Law Courts for further and better interpretations of laws that might appear ambiguous.

Enough of the salient digression. Let’s revert to the subject matter: Most of us, and once again, if not all, have consistently rained bogus, useless, and stupid praises and glories on God Almighty, representing subtle and subliminal euphemisms of omens of gross displeasure for letting trouble befall us, even when its apparently clear that such difficulties could have been averted or reverted, if all relevantly useful and available avenues and/or resources were exhausted.

These rains of bogus praises and glories proffered God reasons to conclude that, “My (mostly Christians) people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you from being a priest to me. And since you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children,” as capture in Hosea 4:6. These blatant exhibitions of ignorance on our paths either tickles God, while He laughs out loudly or makes Him grief-stricken, while He grapples to shed some crocodile tears.

It’s to this extent that you might have regularly or minimally heard some ignorant persons conclude, “Fa ma Nyame,” to wit, “Give it to God,” and “God knows best,” even when something humanly significant could have been done to avert whatever adversary there is. Examples: How do you blame God for failing your Mid-Semester Exams, when you didn’t study at all or not well enough? How do you conclude, “Fa ma Nyame,” and/or “God knows best,” if your year old baby drank, and died after mistaking kerosene for water in a voltic water bottle recklessly placed in the bedroom?

Real life scenario

So, Maa Ab (my Baby Mama) had conceived for me, and subsequently, put to birth a preciously and adorably and innocuously sweet charming baby girl (Baby N) within the latter part of the second quarter of 2010. Baby N had exhausted about 95% of her stay on earth in hospitals, and later passed on in a hospital few months after she had turned a year older. You wouldn’t or couldn’t be a liar, if you had concluded that Baby N actually lived in a hospital but not a home for nearly the entire duration she had visited us on earth.

Baby N had suffered a medical condition by the appellation ‘Hole-in-Heart,’ which I never knew was a mere treatable and curable condition right here in Ghana until her verily sad and untimely demise. Thanks to Juliet Ibrahim for that wonderful education during her TV interview few years ago, but only after Baby N’s untimely demise. Juliet had concluded in that interview that there was a Heart Foundation in Ghana that bore about half the total lump sum of heart surgeries, including ‘Hole-in-Heart’ conditions—a mere paltry sum of about GHC12,000 or so.

I’m assuming you’re asking, “So, what happened then?” Here’s what happened: Baby Mama and I were only in our most very early 20’s—naive about parenting, including health matters, habit of questioning things we didn’t comprehend, but sexually active. Baby Mama’s parents played the surrogates during all the hospital sessions, including consulting the doctors/nurses that mattered; even amidst Baby N’s funeral arrangements. I lawfully and fairly discharged my obligations, especially financial wise to an extent where I naturally became cash-strapped, during which Baby Mama’s father, whom i still verily appreciate till date, intermittently assumed my roles (financials) in circumstances where I had a deficit.

food for thought

It’s apparently obvious in this day and age that the contemporariness and saliency of the word ‘COINCIDENCE’ is largely a cliché even in the personal dictionary of God Almighty, especially when He is doing, behaving and misbehaving as He pleases—check this, Psalm 135:6.

Per the real life scenario cited above, I assume full responsibility as biological father of Baby N for being immature, displaying gross naivety for not fronting all sessions to ask all relevant and pressing questions in my quest for a long lasting panacea that could have saved Baby N from her sad, unfortunate and untimely demise. All these while, Baby Mama’s father concurrently mentioned that the doctors said Baby N would be fine and healthy again, but would cost us a lot of money, which he never mentioned, perhaps because I never asked.

Can you even imagine the costing was only about Ghs12,000 or so, whiles I drove a vehicle at the time worth about Ghs15,000 to Ghs17,000? Can you also imagine that during my breakup with Baby Mama, she (Baby Mama) had mentioned expressly that her parents didn’t even like me after all? So, here I’m wondering, whether or not my gross display of naivety as father of Baby N was deemed undue advantage by Baby Mama’s parents to have not acted entirely appropriate and/or well enough, hence, had hidden from me vital information that perhaps could have saved Baby N from her unfortunate and untimely demise.

So listen, my dear cherished reader, you reserve no rights and/or privileges at all to blame and accuse, and/or rain bogus, useless, frivolous and stupid praises on God Almighty, representing subtle and subliminal euphemisms of omens of gross displeasure amidst your difficult situations, but until you’re certain to have exhausted all relevantly useful and available avenues and/or resources in your attempt to avert or revert your troubles.

With that and the real life scenario revealed, I hereby as a matter of urgency drop all stupid and useless charges against God Almighty, hence, declaring Him and all His assigns, including Jesus and Angel Gabriel acquitted and discharged—in other words, they are now free Men and/or Spirits. Court rise!!!!!!!

Author: Jr Docket (jr-docket@writeme.com)