A letter to Afia: Women will be women for men to be men

By: Effah Elvis

It’s been long since I wrote to you. Many are those asking whether I have stopped writing letters to you. This drew my attention to the fact that you are not the only one who has been reading the letters I write to you despite the fact that I always tell you to keep the letters from your friends and course mates.

I won’t blame you for making my letters go viral on social media. We are living in an era where letters that are written at night to our loved ones are being brought to the lime light at daytime as a result of rapid growth in technology.

Afia, I write in response to the question you asked a week ago. You asked whether the issue of gender equality is possible in our contemporary world. I will hit the nail right on the head and will be brief as possible. I could feel the pain in your voice when you referred to an incident at Marwako Restaurant where a Lebanese supervisor cruelly dipped the face of a Ghanaian staff Evelyn Boakye in pepper paste. As a matter of fact, it’s always disheartening to hear of such punishments meted out to some women.

Tragic in our permissive society, is the amazing frequency and intensity with which some people disregard women. Women in the eye of many, are regarded as the weaker vessels.

Afia, my simple answer to your question is “yes! Gender equality is possible”. I have always held the view that creation would have been incomplete without women in society. Right from creation to our contemporary times, women have proven that they are beyond capable. You proved in the Garden of Eden beyond all reasonable doubt that you can rule and even control men if given the chance.

You demonstrated this by giving the man a fruit of which he could not reject. This is the reason why you do not need to be empowered because you are already powerful. But you should rather be made aware of this strength which you possess as a woman.

In all societies throughout the world, women have risen to occupy key positions to contribute to the development in all facets of life. Women have rubbed shoulders with their male counterparts as engineers, lawyers, ministers of state, teachers, nurses and the high position of the presidency.

The remarkable career success of women across the world is no news to the ordinary Ghanaian. During the period of Nigeria’s struggle for political independence, the positive role played by women like Mrs Flora Azikwe and Margaret Ekpo can never be lost from the memory of their admirers. The unforgettable role played by Yaa Asantewaa in the history of the Ashantis will forever remain fresh in memory. I dare say that her bravery and sheer display of patriotism dwarfed and eclipsed those of her male counterparts. These personalities may be abstract to you. Let me bring you home and cite my mother as an example. She played the role of a father and a mother by single-handedly taking care of the family.

Afia, men will continue to be men for women to remain women. Don’t misunderstand me. I mean, under no circumstance should females be transformed into males. Our differences as males and females is the cause of our unity. I hope you do not see me as a chauvinist in the eye of your mind.

To transform a female into a male or the vice versa is to oppose the natural order either by choice or by force. This is where gender equality has been misconstrued. Gender equality is therefore not about “sameness” in terms of sex but about equal access to job opportunities, educational institutions and many more without any segregation based on gender.

Afia, earlier in this letter, I indicated that “Yes! Gender equality is possible”. Every “yes” on planet earth comes with a responsibility. For this revolution to continue to see the light of the day, some negative acts should be eschewed.

Some women accept the juicy opportunity to be half naked or completely naked when they are featured in trending music video of their male counterparts. This act should be consigned into the museum of history. In fact it should be a thing of the past in this 21stcentury. The bitter truth every woman should know is that it is just a cynical ploy on the part of their male counterparts to sell their music to the public.

This act by some ladies will only make women to be seen as mere sex objects who are always manipulated by their male counterparts for their personal gains. I believe in a collaborative work especially in this age where fame and money has become the order of the day. But there is always a problem when women have to strip naked in a music video. I see this act not as creativity but an act to debase the dignity of womanhood.

You are your own woman. I therefore believe that you will make informed choices anytime the need arises. To be featured in a music video is great and splendid but to be used as an object of sex in that same video should never be an option for any woman in this 21st century.

Afia, it is a truism that what men can do women can do better. Taking cognizance of this dictum, the 21st century woman should also play lead-role in movies that for a long time have portrayed men as the only heroes and saviours of humanity in all life endeavours. Women should not always be made as the sole beneficiaries of all kind gestures in our movies. There can be movies where men could also be the chief beneficiaries of the good deeds of women. The industry can be rebranded to tell more stories of heroines rather than it always focusing on the bravery of their male counterparts.

Women in the 21st century should be bold to man the affairs of their respective communities and the nation as a whole. The primitive idea that some positions are for only men should be discarded into the dustbins of the Dark Ages.

Afia, I end this letter with the words of one of my finest and prolific writers of all time, the late Efo Kodjo Mawugbe. In his award winning book, In the Chest of a Woman, Nana Yaa retorted that “in the chest of a woman is not only the extension of breast and a feeble heart but a flaming desire to possess and use power”.

” Feminism is not about making women strong. Women are already strong. It’s all about changing the way the world perceives that strength”, so says G.D Anderson.

Your secret admirer,

Elvis.