A Ghanaian Husband Chases his Wife out of London

I had the opportunity to listen to a discussion on London's "Hot Digital Online" radio on Thursday, 21st April 2011. The discussion was about a Ghanaian illegal immigrant resident in London for the past nine years. This guy is said to be a married Christian who attends Sunday Church services without fail. He also does attend Church on other days as and when his work does permit.

He has left his wife in Ghana for all the nine years that he is resident in Britain. He has since his arrival in Britain nine years ago, never gone back to Ghana all because he hasn't got the necessary enabling documents to do so. His current residence status in Britain does not facilitate his going home on a visit any sooner. Simply put, he lacks the wherewithal for making a return visit or journey to Ghana. This goes to tell that his wife, who has been faithful and sincere to him all this while during his unfortunate absence from Ghana, has not had the opportunity to enjoy any sexual intimacy.

They have two children between them. The woman is engaged in a lucrative job back home. She takes care of both their two children and the man's other child from a previous marriage. She is fully and successfully in charge of the man's investments back home. "For any successful man, there is a woman behind him".

This man under discussion has his brothers and sisters-in-law from the wife's side living in Britain. They often cook for him even though he lives apart, that is, lives on his own in another area or house in London. The wife's family in London and their mother back home decided to offer the husband (the man in question) a "surprise present". What could the present be, the curious mind wants to know now? They had concertedly arrived at a decision that the wife had better join her husband in Britain. What could their motive behind this secret agreement and arrangement be? Could it be that the wife has been deprived of marital enjoyment for far too long? Could it be that the continual living in isolation from the husband will eventually in the near future jeopardize their marriage? Could it also be that they pitied the husband for working hard, but has no wife to cook for him and soothe his pains on arrival home after a hard day's work? They are the only

ones who until today know why they decided on that surprise that has unfortunately backfired on them.

They procured the wife a visa, purchased her a plane ticket and brought her to London on one of these recent past Saturdays. They did all these without the least knowledge of the husband. The husband who respects the wife's family so much so that he does not only maintain constant phone contacts with them but goes to them to eat, was asked to proceed to their house after Church service to collect some prepared food. They usually cook for him. After the Sunday's Church service, he proceeded to the house of his in-laws as requested. On arrival, he was asked if he has heard from his wife lately. He answered in the affirmative. "I spoke with her last night at about say, 8 pm", he said. As he was speaking with them in the lounge on the first floor of their semi-detached house, the wife was in one of the upstairs rooms. While still chatting, they mentioned the wife's name and asked her to come over. The husband asked them to stop kidding knowing very well that

the wife was in Ghana. What a surprise, surprise! Here comes the wife climbing down the internal staircase of the house. The guy was shocked and became speechless when he saw the wife. "Am I dreaming or seeing a ghost", he may have soliloquized? No, he was seeing his real living Sweetheart.

This man instead of relaxing to overcome his shock and then put on a mantle of joy was rather fit to be tied. He was angry with both his wife and his in-laws for that unsolicited surprise gift. The husband has not bothered to take the wife to see where he lives, nor come over to the in-laws' house to sleep with her. He is insisting that the woman returns to Ghana immediately. His reasons for the wife going back home are: 1) The wife has a lucrative business back home. 2) The wife is taking care of his projects back home. Without the wife's presence in Ghana, he can no longer successfully proceed with his materialistic ambitions and achievements. 3) The wife takes care of their children. Who will be responsible for the children? 4) He has himself no residence permit to legally reside in the United Kingdom so he doesn't want the wife to come to suffer same fate.

Much as I agree with the guy in principle (on the points raised), I totally disagree with his lukewarm stupid attitude as so far exhibited. Every man, unless the person is insane or harbouring secrets he doesn't want anyone to know, will be happier to be surprised with such gifts. I may not want to beat about the bush but to hit the nail squarely on the head of the drum. This acclaimed illegal immigrant is living with another woman in London or else he would not behave that irresponsibly. How does he expect the wife to continually leave in Ghana and be deprived of the comfort of a husband, that is, sexual intercourse for nine years? This guy must be crazy. Will he not be the first person to go out shouting his voice hoarse should the wife be caught having an affair? Why can't he take this woman home to see where he lives, and service her sexually rusty engine even for a day before compelling her to go back to Ghana? It is because he is either living with

a woman in his house or he has a serious girlfriend in London. When this other woman sees or hears that his wife has come, she may chase him out of her life. Will the other woman ask the Home Office (British Immigration Office) to expel him because he is an illegal immigrant? I hope not. Why then this insanity? He has given the wife until 3rd May 2011 to return to Ghana. In default, he may divorce the wife I should think. The wife's man will rather have her stay here in peace with the husband. The woman, her siblings and mother are in a dilemma.

Let me offer this guy an advice as simply chastising him without showing him what to do will not resolve the problem at stake but rather compound the situation. "Bruv", find a place to have some cool time with your wife from time to time. You can even do that from the room she sleeps in in her siblings' house. It will be an unpardonable sin for you to let the wife go without having enjoyed even a minute intimate time with her. She came on a six-month entry and exit visa I suppose. Why can't you let her stay until nearing the expiry of her visa if you want to prove my allegations against you wrong? I am convinced the wife intended to come to stay with you under the same roof as a husband and wife. You can let her go back home but not under the callous conditions as you have so far stipulated.

Yes, the guy is a Christian from the look of the time he spends frequenting Church services. By his actions, he is simply a Church goer to me. He is not exhibiting the qualities of a married Christian person. Let it be known to whomever this guy is that, my elder brother went to Canada in 1988. He did not have residence permit but arranged for the wife to join him in 1990. It was the wife who became the first person to be accorded official residence permit in Canada as among this couple. She then used it to cover the husband whereby they both became, and are still, "Landed" naturalized citizens in Canada.

I am sure this guy will listen to the grey-hair old man. Grey hair is said not to be a repository of wisdom but mine is. I am an old man and "Old age is also said to be an indication of wisdom" I am done!

Rockson Adofo