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Opinions of Sunday, 12 August 2012

Columnist: Okoampa-Ahoofe, Kwame

To My Uncle Tarkwa Atta A Tribute 18

By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr.



Uncle,

I told you

since the shit

started

hitting the fan,

the game

has gotten

groovy all

over again –

now,

cartoon-face

Tsatsu

is at it again,

rascally claiming

you were

the best

and brightest

choice

to pair-trawl

Jato-Patapaa

in Scam Ninety-Six,

when another

slap-around

m’agya tuw

clown

was replaced

with the recently expired

and specially minted

humble one,

not that you were any

cracker-jack clown

or any remarkable clown

at all,

for that matter,

farther be it

for me

to dub or

christen you

an Ekumfi-clown,

which you might

or might not

have been

at all…

I also hear

you were not

even born

in the village

Chief Shit-Bomber

seems to be

so morbidly afraid of,

and perhaps even

too clinically

ashamed

to have you

therein interred;

of course

every earth

is earth,

every earth

was equally

created

by God,

every earth

is sacred

to God –

what is rather

funny,

though,

Uncle Tee,

is the fact that

Cartoon-face

Tsatsu,

the petrol-thief

and criminal convict,

thinks everybody

in the land

cares a whit about

what he thinks about

Chief Shit-Bomber’s

second string –

why does it always

have to be

a m’agya tuw bloke

on second base…

I think

I know,

Uncle,

the Trokosi boys

have it

down pat

their butts –

they think

my big brother

Pee-Kay

is their blind check

to the public dole,

you know

how it goes

with these

fiafito thugs,

and they may not

be too far

from the dope,

for you were

yourself

their prime

sugar lump

for the Hausa Koko

Jato-Patapaa

left by the kitchen sink

in store

for them –

yes,

my big brother

Pee-Kay

is another

sugar lump,

perhaps even

vintage honey

in their tea;

yes,

the Trokosi boys

have acquired

a sweet tea-tooth,

that was what

Jato-Patapaa’s

revolution

was all about;

morbid rascals

that they are,

they are lauding

my big brother

Pee-Kay

for helping

one of their own,

three decades ago,

slip

the SAP

noose-

necklace

of Jay-P

around

our necks –

whether

they succeed,

once more,

remains

to be seen…

petrol-thief

Tsatsu,

he thinks

he is so slick;

I even hear

he sleeps

with one of our

girls,

the tumpata one,

and so he thinks

he has arrived

at the mountain

top…

but we have

already

been there

and done

that,

and we intend

to give him

another sound

butt-kicking

once more…

you just watch

the Manhyia

and Ba-Kwante

boys

team up

to dance

abomaa

once more…

it doesn’t get

any better

than this,

once you also

drop in

the Yendi,

Wa and

Bolga

boys…

there shall be

hell to pay

if these Trokosi brats

refuse to

respect

and play

by the rules

of the game…



8/6/12